God Is A Father to the Fatherless: Finding A New Family In Christ & Christian Community

To say that the death of a parent fractures a family is an understatement. It's a kind of compound grief that explodes like a volcano. You feel the most violent eruption of emotion as your loved one slips away or as you learn the news of their passing. And yet, it doesn't stop there. The mourning, the missing, continues for the rest of your life. It's the most prevalent in the first few years after they're gone, but even after a decade or more, you still think about them. You wonder what advice they'd give in a particular situation. You wonder if they would be proud of you. You wish you could reach out for help. You wish they were here for your milestones.

When a volcano erupts, it permanently changes the surrounding landscape. It can destroy and it can create. Grief and loss function similarly. One version of your life is destroyed and a new one is birthed. The issue is, your new life is a puzzle with a missing piece. And no matter how much healing you do or how much time passes, you can never replace the role of a father or mother. You can never fill the hole in your heart. But God can.

God is the missing piece to every puzzle. God is a father to the fatherless.

My dad passed away when I was 23, leaving behind a wife and two daughters. Not only has his absence fractured our family, my family was already fractured before his passing. Sometimes the loss of a parent or the destruction of a family isn't caused by death. It's caused by distance (physical and emotional), denial (of hurt feelings and pain caused), mistrust, misunderstandings, resentment, anger, abuse, neglect. Sometimes we are forced to mourn the living.

No matter what your family dynamics are, God is ready, willing, and able to step into the roles that no one else is filling. He is ready to give a love like no other. He is ready to be reliable. He is ready to show up and support you through your most inconvenient emotions and experiences. He is ready to be your father and your mother. He is ready to fill the gaps in your life and in your family and be the family you've been missing.

"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land." Psalm 68:5-6

• God identifies Himself as a Father to the Fatherless

• He promises not only love but protection

• He rescues the lonely and frees the prisoners

"Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me." Psalm 27:10

• Forsake means to abandon

• God receives the abandoned

And, as a God who is all-encompassing, a being of both masculine and feminine traits, God is not only equipped to be your father, but your mother. He is ready to be your parent. He is ready to be your family.

Jesus redefines family not of blood but of spiritual oneness.

In Matthew 12:46-47, a man approaches Jesus while He is speaking to a group of people. He tells Jesus that His mother and brothers are standing outside wishing to speak with Him. Jesus' response: "'Who is My mother and who are My brothers? And He streteched out His hand toward His disciples and said, 'Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother." Matthew 12:48-50

• Jesus declares family is not defined by biology, but that all who are in Christ, all who serve and love the Father in heaven, are His family and each other's family.

"He predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ..." Ephesians 1:5

"Treat older men as fathers, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters..." 1 Timothy 5:1-2

• Spiritual family is not second-best or a last-resort. Having known us before we were born, having created us, and written all our days in His book (Psalm 139:16), God is our true Father. Jesus is our true brother. The family we find in Christ is not a replacement for the biological family we lost. It is the family we were always destined to have and be a part of.

God meets us in the spirit and through those with His Spirit.

As I've gotten closer to God and more involved at my church, I've felt the goodness of God. I've felt the peace that only He can offer--a peace that surpasses all understanding and that is beyond my human strength. I've felt His presence and His Holy Spirit working inside me, healing me from the inside out. Because of this I've become more aware of which environments and which people threaten His presence and my peace. I've felt the unease of being near a spirit incompatible with mine. I've felt my old wounds pricked and re-opened. And I've been clinging to Christ and my newfound Christian community in response.

When you discover what is good for your spirit, you can quickly identify what isn't. Sometimes our greatest tormentors are those closest to us, those who share our blood. When your blood family does not share the same spirit of Christ as you, it's time to remove yourself and cling to those who do.

Through Jesus, we have a personal, one-on-one relationship with our Father in Heaven. But God also uses other people to meet us, help us, and love us. Strangers become sisters, brothers, fathers, and mothers. A new family is created--not only for God, but for us--through Christ. Through our Savior, our Father, and our new family, we may truly heal from the loss of the ones we love. The missing pieces click into place. The hole in our heart fills. Our family is restored through Christ and Christian community.

"I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you." John 14:18

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God--and so we are." 1 John 3:1

"Nothing...will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

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Growing Intimacy With Your Father In Heaven

Usually when I pray, I pray to God or Lord, but the other night, Father came out without my thinking. My heart was calling out to my Father in heaven. It surprised me and also made me feel so good and so connected to the Lord.

He is my Father. He is my comforter, the one who sees me, supports me, loves me, guides me. He is with me on the drive home when the rain is coming down so hard that I can't see. He is with me at every milestone and every heartbreak. He is with me all the days of my life. I love Him for never abandoning me. I love Him for being the love I've been missing, the family I've been missing.

If you feel called to, address Him as Father the next time you pray. See how you feel afterward.