SEARCH RESULTS

If you can't tell by now, I like to write and reflect. I can remember last March, as I turned thirty, journaling my intentions not just for the year, but for the decade. After a chaotic, heartbreaking decade of lost years, I wanted thirty to be a fresh start for me, and today, I want to reflect on how it was just that. March 9th, 2025: The sentiment that keeps echoing through my mind is, "It's already done. You're just walking into it." I wrote in my journal that God had already made a place for me and a way for me. There was nothing for me to fear. All I had to do was answer the calling, and respond to the nudge in my soul. I wrote this as I prepared to take my first solo trip. I'd been filled with anxiety for weeks, but I knew that this trip would be good for me. I knew that it was time for me to overcome my fear and anxiety in order to receive good things. This is a truth I've held close throughout the year. Good things are on the other side of fear and anxiety. I began my thirties with the mentality that it was time for me to step out of my comfort zone. I wrote, "Tomorrow is a beginning. I'm walking into a new life, a new mindset. Tomorrow could lay the first of a foundation for a life that may be built over many years--even a decade. "It's already done." There's no use worrying about it, fighting against it or fighting myself. Whatever happens, it's going to be okay." When I tell you that my thirtieth year of life has been the most transformative year, I am not exaggerating. I spent the first week of my thirties in Fort Walton Beach, Florida--the place I feel most connected to my dad and the happiest memories from my childhood. This place, this trip , felt like a bridge between my past and my present. It was a time for me to feel connected to the girl I once was before stepping fully into the woman God had called me to be. I journaled every morning on my balcony while enjoying the morning sun and the sounds of crashing waves. I focused on daily gratitude, the lessons of my twenties, restoring my self-worth. I contemplated what God had in store for me--marriage, kids, career shifts. And what unfolded over the following 365 days continued to lay the foundation for the life I've always dreamed of, the foundation that began with that first step of choosing something good even when it scared me. Every pivotal moment in my life has begun with a single step, a single moment of overcoming fear or complacency. I didn't enter this year with a plan, but with an intention. To be honest, I think I forgot what that intention even was as the days passed. But it embedded itself in my soul, so that now when I look back at the choices I made over this year, I can see I was living in the intention to answer the call, follow the nudge, and overcome fear. Thirty was the year that I began solo-traveling, that my relationship with God reached a new level, that I found my church home, that I finally learned to trust and surrender my life to God, that I decided to repent from my secret sin and pursue purity, that I reinstated holy boundaries in dating, that I relinquished my pen to God and let Him write through me, that I began serving at church, that I found community, that I discovered a love outside of romantic relationship, that I found more peace in my singleness, that I finally learned to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, that I finally recognized the spiritual attacks on my life, that God revealed His heart to me, that I learned to love God and myself. It was the year I was re-baptized. It was the year I became a better friend and sister, a better woman overall. It was the year I became an aunt to the most perfect angel to ever live. It was the year my heart was opened to a love I never knew myself capable of. It was the year I became my Father's daughter. Thirty laid the foundation for a life filled with friendship, fellowship, service, community, Christ, love, peace, happiness, and fulfillment. I give all the credit to God. He was the one who nudged me in the right direction, who placed specific callings on my heart, and had softened my heart in the year prior to be receptive to His voice. He was the one who orchestrated meetings that led me closer to Him and others who've become an important part of my transformation. He was the one who led me to my church home and has given me this community and opportunity to serve that is so rewarding. He did it all. "It's already done. You're just walking into it." I'm excited to see what else the Lord is leading me to. When I look back and see the changes that've occurred in my life over the past year, three-and-a-half years, seven years...I know that time does not limit transformation. I expect great things to happen before the end of this year, before I turn thirty-two. But for now, I'd like to set an intention for thirty-one. Lord, I ask that you continue working in me this year. Continue drawing me closer to you, equipping me to embody your Spirit and to love and help others. Continue leading me to abundance, Lord, because I know you want good things for me. I will continue to choose good things over fear, and I will continue to be a good thing and do good things for others. Equip me to be a good thing. March 28, 2025: Something I'm learning is the importance of the temporary, the fleeting. Perhaps this is most easily depicted in my trip to Florida. It was temporary and that made me cherish it more. It was beautiful and for a moment, it was perfect. Life will be filled with fleeting, beautiful moments: relationships, trips, unique experiences. They will make up the tapestry of my life. Maybe that's the shift I've been needing. I've always wanted a forever . But maybe I'm meant to live many lives like the characters I write? Maybe I'm supposed to accept, like April, in the book I'm writing, that temporary can be beautiful. And it's better to be known than never discovered. I just hope, like her, I will one day meet the man who is willing to give me the rest of his days. I'm writing this as I enter my final week as a thirty-year-old, and I still desire a forever . My heart still longs for marriage and for a family of my own. I think the longing is greater than it's ever been, because God has shown me that I don't have to be afraid of love when He has taught both people how to love. I don't have to be afraid of a marriage that God ordains. But for the first time in my life, I'm resting in God's love. I understand that no man can love me like Him. No man can be my Savior. No man can be my peace. No man can give me what God gives me. This is a freeing feeling. Thirty was the year I let go of the idol of romantic love and learned to rest in God's love. I'm also learning how to find beauty in the temporary, because we ourselves are temporary. There will come a day when each of us passes away and the world will forget our names. So I value each moment. I value each friendship, each moment of romance, each moment of depth, each chance I get to meet a new soul and hear their story. I value each second with my nephew, whose life appears more fleeting than most. Thirty was the year my hope in God and the abundant life He promises was restored, but it was not without heartbreak. My life has revealed a pattern of hope and heartbreak coinciding. Seven-and-a-half years ago, my dad passed and I got married to the man I thought would love me forever. My wedding dress actually arrived on the very day of my dad's passing. Three-and-a-half years ago, I was physically at rock-bottom, but I made a choice that began a journey of reclaiming my body, my health, and becoming better than ever before. Two years ago, a relationship I thought would last brought me to the one ever-lasting relationship, and I began my journey through God's word. This year, I received the greatest blessings of my life--a restored relationship with God and the gift of being an aunt. When my nephew was diagnosed with a rare, aggressive, stage 4 cancer at only six months old, everything threatened to unravel. But God has equipped me with endurance. And I know that no matter what tragedy I face this year--at thirty-one--a blessing will swiftly follow, because God is a good Father who binds up our wounds and heals our broken hearts. Even in the face of your greatest heartbreak, there are still good things to come. That statement actually makes me want to share one final memory from my thirtieth year. It was New Year's Eve and, because it was on a Wedneday, there was a service at my church. I don't normally attend in person on Wednesday nights, but this night I decided to, because I needed to. I needed to get out of my house and be surrounded by God's presence. I needed to be filled with the peace of the Holy Spirit in the wake of my nephew's diagnosis. That night, when I walked in, I spotted a friend--the same friend who God used to inspire me to attend Word of God in the first place. I was so thankful to see him, to not have to be alone given all the emotions I was having. That night, the pastor said: "Look to your neighbor and tell them life is about to get good for you ." Given everything that was going on and still is, I needed to hear that. I needed to claim it, and I do. 2026, I proclaim, life is about to get good.

Today's post is inspired by a few key scriptures from the gospel of Luke, and will serve as both a message and an introduction to my upcoming book, Wilderness: The Place Between Bondage and Promise . "Now you Pharisees make the outside of the cup and dish clean, but your inward part is full of greed and wickedness...Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like graves which are not seen, and the men who walk over them are not aware of them." Luke 11:39 + 44 As we know, Jesus often speaks in parables. In this address to the Pharisees, Jesus employs the tactic by comparing them to the very dishes they seek to clean before eating. The Pharisees adhered to strict cleanliness rituals, especially around consumption of food and drink. If they ate on an unclean plate or with unclean hands, then the idea is the uncleanliness would travel inside them. They viewed righteousness and cleanliness as based on the adherence to specific rules and rituals, which was the very thing Jesus came to free us from. They rejected the need for an inner transformation. They rejected Jesus and His teachings. Jesus, in response, said they were already unclean on the inside, already dead--they just didn't realize it yet. "When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest; and finding none, he says, "I will return to my house from which I came." And when he comes, he finds it swept and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first." Luke 11:24-26 Throughout the gospel of Luke, we see Jesus cast out many demons. And yes, demons still exist today. They are Satan's instruments of destruction, and they seek to reside in the human heart. They seek a vessel, a home. Without one, they are forced to return to the abyss. We see this in Luke 8:31-33 "And they begged Him that He would not command them to go out into the abyss. Now a herd of many swine was feeding there on the mountain. So they begged Him that He would permit them to enter them. And He permitted them. Then the demons went out of the man and entered the swine, and the herd ran violently down the steep place into the lake and drowned." When your heart is not filled with the Holy Spirit, it does not matter how holy you look on the outside (the house that is swept and put in order), you are empty, and emptiness will be filled by something. But why seven spirits more wicked than he? Because when we think we're healed, when we think we're holy, when we think we're untouchable, we are all the more vulnerable to attack. Without the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, we are like addicts returning to our vice, thinking we'll be alright. But, more often than not, re-exposure to darkness leaves us worse off than before. "...blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!" Luke 11:28 They key to inner transformation, to make your heart a home for the Holy Spirit rather than wickedness, is God's word. Read it. Meditate on it. Study it. Ask God to reveal His truths to you. This is part of the reason Jesus speaks in parables. Not everyone who hears the word of God will truly understand it. It is written and spoken in such a way that your heart must be primed to receive the truth. This is why no matter how many sermons the Pharisees heard, they did not accept Christ. "The lamp of your body is the eye. Therefore, when your eye is good, your whole body also is full of light. But when your eye is bad, your body also is full of darkness. Therefore take heed that the light which is in you is not darkness." Luke 11:34-35 We, as believers, know that there is an internal battle of the spirit and the flesh that is persistent. We strengthen our spirit by reading God's word, but as we strengthen our spirit, it's also important not to feed our flesh. Now, I've written about this before or perhaps just spoken on it. There are misunderstandings when it comes to the flesh and what it means to deny our flesh. We as humans are not innately corrupt, but we are easily corruptible. God seeks to restore us to the glory we were created to exemplify. We were created to be His children, to have dominion over the earth, to exemplify His goodness here on earth, to love Him, be loved by Him, and to love others like He loves us. We were and are His greatest creation. Sin entering the world has not changed God's intention for man, His love for man, or man's purpose. When we deny our flesh, it's not about denying our humanity, our good, God-given desires. It's not about punishing ourselves and never doing anything we want. That's where this teaching goes off the rails. Denying the flesh is about denying the darkness inside us, denying the spirits seeking to tempt us, denying the lies Satan tries to sell us as truth. We do this in two ways. One, rooting ourselves in God's word and surrending to His will/ His Holy Spirit. Two, starving darkness, which means avoiding temptation. In Luke 11:34-35, we see that our hearts aren't the only thing we need to guard. We also must guard our eyes. Wilderness: The Place Between Bondage and Promise The idea for this book, my first Christian non-fiction book, came to me while writing for this very blog. I truly feel that God revealed the title to me and the purpose of this book, which is ultimately to encourage others in their wilderness season: the time between being saved and being fulfilled by Christ. Like the Israelites, our time in the wilderness is a time when we are tested, when we do not yet know God, when we face a ton of uncertainty, discomfort, and discouragement. It's a season where God seeks to undo the wounds from our past, the bondage Satan had us shackled in, and restore us to the abundance He created us to walk in. But when we don't realize this, when we don't see the wilderness as a necessary process of restoration and redemption, we may give up in our struggle and return to bondage, like the Israelites sought to. I am so excited to share this book with you, which also includes pieces of my testimony. I can't give you a pub date. I'm letting God lead my writing, my timeline, and my pathway to publication. What I can say is, the wilderness is essential. The inner transformation is essential. This week, I pray you make your heart a home for the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit that defeats all other spirits and restore us to the beings that God created us to be.

Today's post is short and simple, and is inspired by Luke 10:38-42 "Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving , and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed , and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." First of all, I love Martha. I'm probably a Martha. The "do you not care" and demanding something of Jesus-- the audacity --yeah, that's probably me. If you're honest, it's probably been you too. But Jesus reminds us that sitting at His feet and seeking His word is the most important thing. More important than serving, working, caring for others, etc. His word is what equips us to do all those things with love, compassion, strength, endurance, and most of all, the Holy Spirit. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33 Life can get so busy sometimes that we forget to read our Bible, we forget to pray, we forget to seek God. But seeking God must be a daily choice in order to live each day surrendered to Him and His will. This week, I challenge you to make time with God a priority. Add a time for Bible study to your calender. Create a reminder to pray. Whatever is necessary for you to seek Him daily. The longer you walk in the habit of seeking the Lord, the less reminding you'll need. Never get so distracted--even with good things--that you forget to sit at the feet of Jesus.