Project 31 Month 2: Learning To Trust & Be Trustworthy

Apr 7
14 min read

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11-12

Welcome to the second month of our becoming journey. In the first installment of Project 31, we combatted the lies of the enemy with Biblical truth and reclaimed what it means to be a woman of God by remembering our innate, God-given identity and worth. This month, our focus shifts and we begin to learn what living from our God-given identity actually looks like.

One of our greatest roadblocks in our relationship with God is trust. In times of sorrow, we struggle to trust God's goodness and presence. In times of lack, we struggle to trust God's provision. In times of heartache, we struggle to trust God's love. And when others prove themselves untrustworthy, our trust issues can bleed into every other relationship, including our relationship with God.

Our circumstances seek to shake our trust in the Lord, and when our trust in the Lord is shaken, so is everything else. We struggle to have hope. We struggle to remain faithful. We turn inward and feel the only option is to become self-reliant, independent, and strong. We turn away from our Father, like the Israelites who struggled to trust God to provide for them and protect them. And that action affects how we show up as a wife, friend, mother, employee, and daughter of the Most High God.

Trust in the Lord is the essence of a Proverbs 31 woman.

While Proverbs 31 refers to a wife and is used as inspiration for wives, this scripture is inspiration for godly womanhood regardless of marital status. Additionally, we, as the church, are the wife of Christ. There are lessons we can take from Proverbs 31 as we prepare to be joined together with Christ in Heaven.

In this installment of Project 31, all women are called to rebuild their trust in the Lord and learn how to be a safe place for others to place their trust.

This devotional series is for:

women of any age
women desiring to strengthen their trust in the Lord
women desiring to become the woman God has called them to be
unmarried yet preparing (wives in the waiting)
women who are currently married
divorced women hoping for a second chance
mature women looking to reconnect with their purpose as women of God

Learning to Trust the Lord

When you think back on your childhood, it's easy to see that trust is not innate. It is learned. We learn to trust our caregivers when they consistently meet our needs. We learn to trust their advice when it consistently protects us from harm. This may be something as simple as "Don't touch the stove. It's hot. It'll burn you." Maybe we had to learn that lesson the hard way, but we learned it. And so, when the time comes to receive more detrimental words of wisdom such as "Don't drink and drive." "Don't get into a car with a stranger." We are more likely to receive those warnings, because trust has been built over time.

Consistent trustworthy advice not only teaches us the lessons we need to learn, but reveals the teacher as trustworthy. We learn trust through consistent demonstration of trustworthiness.

What's obvious in the examples given above is that trust is not something we do, we initiate, or we strive for. It's not a personality trait that some people have and some people don't. Nor is it a personal failure when we don't trust someone, as long as we aren't the person who says, "I don't trust anyone." Not everyone is worthy of our trust. Those who are reveal themselves as trustworthy, safe, loving, as someone who wants to protect us and guide us along the right path. And they do this consistently. God does this consistently.

The Consistent Trustworthiness of God

God's trustworthiness is revealed throughout scripture through His unchanging character, faithfulness to His word, fulfilled promises, and consistent presence across generations.

God is unchanging, even when we disappoint or disobey Him.

"For I the Lord do not change; therefore you...are not consumed." Malachi 3:6

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." James 1:17

"God is not human, that He should lie..." Numbers 23:19

Not only does scripture reveal God's character as unchanging and thus trustworthy, we see it first hand in the story of the Israelites. As Moses ascended Mt. Sinai to receive the 10 Commandments, he was gone a total of forty days. In this time, the Israelites--despite God having already proven Himself trustworthy--thought they had been abandoned by Him and thus created for themselves an idol to worship. (Exodus 32)

God was angry and called them corrupt and stiffnecked. He wanted to turn away from them and choose a different people to be His. But He remembered His word, His promise, and He was faithful to be their God even when they were not faithful to be His people. God does not turn His back on us when we mess up. God does not abandon us even when we abandon Him.

God is faithful to His word and fulfills His promises.

"Not one of all the Lord's good promises...failed; every one was fulfilled." Joshua 21:45

"For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud...so shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:10-11

Throughout the Bible, we see God remain faithful to His word and fulfill His promises. The three examples that come to me immediately are when He promised Abraham and Sarah a son from Sarah's womb (despite their age and Sarah's barrenness), when He promised to bring the Israelites into the Promised Land, and when He promised us a Savior.

Even in the face of the impossible, God's word is the authority. It is the truth. It is wisdom. And it will not fail.

God's word not only promises, it protects.

God not only proves Himself trustworthy in action, but in word. He seeks to teach us the ways of righteousness, the way to the abundant life. No matter what our relationships on earth have been like, no matter if we had loving and protective parents or not, God is our loving and protective Father. His word seeks to protect, to guide, and to teach.

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For by me your days will be mutlipled, and years of life will be added to you." Proverbs 9:10-11

Knowledge and understanding of the word of God is key to long life.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 (Jesus speaking)

Knowledge and understanding of the word of God is key to the abundant life.

God's presence is constant, no matter our circumstances or personal failures.

"For the Lord is good...His faithfulness continues through all generations." Psalm 100:5

"His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

"The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

"For my father and mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in." Psalm 27:10

Even when our earthly relationships leave us wounded, hurting, and filled with mistrust, the Lord is trustworthy. He is faithful. He is loving. And He never abandons us. These truths should be the foundation we build our life on, the solid foundation we stand on when everything and everyone else around us feels shaky.

When a woman of God has unshakable trust in the Lord, she is unstoppable. She is the wife who is a crown on her husband's head (Proverbs 12:4). She brings favor to those around her (Proverbs 18:22). She is rare and precious (Proverbs 31:10).

Takeaways:

God proves Himself as trustworthy time and time again.
It is safe to place your trust in the Lord.
We learn how to trust when others demonstrate consistent trustworthiness.
When others fail us, God is our demonstration of consistent trustworthiness.
As a loving Father, God seeks to teach us the ways of wisdom and righteousness. He seeks to teach us how to have an abundant life, and He seeks to guide us there through His Holy Spirit and His word.

But what about when God doesn't feel trustworthy?

While scripture reveals God as trustworthy, we can probably look to our own lives to see His trustworthiness and feel His presence. We can look back on that car accident that should've been worse. We can look back on that time of grief that should have consumed us. We can see the moments where divine intervention were at hand, when our loving Father protected us or when He whispered His advice softly. But what about the moments when we can't? What about the times we've felt God was absent? What about the moments when we didn't feel protected, when we didn't feel His goodness, when we felt disappointed? What about the moments when our trust in the Lord was broken?

Rebuilding Trust In the Lord

As someone who grew up in the church, but chose to step away from it after I graduated high school, I know that our ability to trust God is often influenced by how God is presented. When we aren't taught the love of God, when religion seeks to control, when we're given a picture of a Father who is constantly disappointed in us, waiting to punish us, or is impossible to please--of course, we feel unsafe. Of course, we struggle to trust. But it doesn't stop there.

When our perception of God is tainted, so are our expectations of Him. When all we've ever known is the power and authority of God and not the love of God, we may expect Him to act on our behalf in very specific ways. We may expect Him to heal our sick loved one. We may expect Him to bring us out of financial debt. We may expect Him to unite us with our spouse or help us overcome infertility.

When we focus on the power of God, we lose sight of the real gift of God, which is His presence.

Putting your faith in God doesn't mean you're always going to get what you want. It doesn't mean a life without struggle. Putting your faith in God means even in the struggle, you are strong and stable because He is your strength. Putting your faith in God means you are never alone. Putting your faith in God means you are never without hope, because He can do impossible things. But even when those impossible things don't happen--divine healing, divine intervention--He is still good. He is still worthy of your praise and trust. He is still your loving Father.

This perspective shift has been a long, hard-fought battle for me personally. After losing my dad to cancer, I felt let down by God. Then again, I'm not sure I ever expected Him to heal my dad. Throughout the 18 month battle, we would pray for healing, but I would often say: "He can, but will He?" I doubted God's goodness, not His power. The only part of me that believed He would is because I knew the kind of man my dad was. My dad was a God-fearing man who studied His Bible more than anyone I knew. He was an honorable man who never did drugs or drank. Aside from his cancer diagnosis, he was otherwise healthy. If anyone should survive this, it should've been him. If anyone deserved divine healing, it was him. But God chose to take him.

In the years that followed, I could see God's hand in the situation. I could see the ways He was with me and my family, making sure we were okay. Even though He didn't save our rock, He became our rock. God's presence continued to follow me as I went through a divorce, years of hopelessness, searching for a true spouse--not the counterfeit I had--and continues today as I embrace my singleness and new struggles. His presence has never left me and somewhere in the midst of His presence, I learned who He really is. I let go of the false perception and I finally felt His love. I finally surrendered. And, just in time, as another tragic cancer diagnosis has struck my family. This is one I would not survive without God's presence.

While we often look for the power, there is power in His presence. He is with us on our darkest days, and that means even on the darkest day there is light.

Task:

If you are struggling to place your trust in the Lord, I encourage you to look back and write down every time you've felt His presence. Search your memories. Can you find Him where you once felt He was absent? Write down the moments when you felt let down by God. Why did you feel that way? Was it God's character that disappointed you or your expectations of Him? Did you feel abandoned because you didn't get what you wanted? How is your perspective shifting as you learn that you are never abandoned by God?

Like the spouse presented in Proverbs 31, He does us good all the days of our life. But His presence and His goodness don't always manifest exactly as we think it should. And we have to learn to be okay with that. We have to learn to trust Him in the darkness.

Now our God is all-powerful. It is okay to expect the impossible of the Lord. The shift here doesn't come from limiting your expectations of Him, but in choosing to still love Him and learning to still feel loved by Him when your expectations aren't met.

Rebuilding Inner Safety & Learning to Trust Yourself

Bringing it back to Proverbs 31, perhaps you read the verses and admire the woman presented but don't feel she is attainable. You don't trust yourself to be her. You don't see yourself as virtuous. You may evaluate your past and question your trustworthiness. Or perhaps you're filtering your character through your relationships, but not every relationship brings out the best in us.

In this moment, I want you to detach who you've been from who you are and I want you to detach who you are from the version of you that your current relationships draw out. Withdraw to the wilderness and let God reintroduce you to yourself.

"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her." Hosea 2:14

Have you ever heard the phrase patience is a virtue? A virtue, by definition, is a high moral standard. To be virtuous means to have or show high moral standard. You may think of a virtue as a fruit of the Spirit. These fruits, virtues, qualities, signs of rightouesness are not cultivated or grown by us. They are grown and cultivated by the Holy Spirit. It is a process we submit to, not a process we lead. The process of becoming a Proverbs 31 woman, a virtuous woman, the woman God has called you to be is exactly the same. We don't strive. We surrender and submit to the work the Lord wants to do in us, the fruit He seeks to cultivate in us.

Learning to trust yourself is not about you, for God is within you. "God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day." Psalm 46:5 Learning to trust yourself comes from trusting the God within you, recognizing He is there, and understanding that He is guiding you and trusting His guidance.

You don't rebuild trust in yourself by looking inward--you rebuild it by anchoring upward.

Trusting yourself grows as you learn to recognize the voice of the Holy Spirit. I believe God communicates with us in different ways. How He communicates with me may not be how He communicates with you. For me, I often hear phrases in my head during times of prayer or journaling. I hear Him when I'm seeking Him. But I take the word back to Him for confirmation, because He is not the only one who whispers. One thing to note is, the voice of the Holy Spirit will not contradict the word of God. So, if something you hear doesn't align with scripture, it is not from God.

Knowing the word of God enables you to more easily discern His voice.

We were never meant to navigate this life alone or place our trust in ourselves. We were given a Helper in the Holy Spirit and He continues the process of sanctifying us after we've been saved. By the power of God's Holy Spirit, we demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit--the character of God. Through the Holy Spirit, we become trustworthy.

Demonstrating Trustworthiness

Just as the voice of the Holy Spirit will not contradict the word of God, a woman of God does not contradict the word of God. She places her trust in it and she lives her life according to it. A trustworthy woman exemplifies the example of trustworthiness God gives us in Himself through His word.

A trustworthy woman...

Anchors herself in the word of God
Submits herself to the process of sanctification by the Holy Spirit
Is consistent (unchanging, steady, reliable)
Is honest and aligned with truth
Is faithful and keeps her word (follows through, honors commitments, does what she said she'll do)
Is self-controlled (does not react impulsively, is not ruled by feelings but grounded in truth, responds with wisdom)
Is wise and discerning (seeks God's will, makes thoughtful decisions, God is the source of her wisdom)
Is a safe refuge for those around her (does not create chaos in relationships, does not weaponize vulnerability, is a place of peace not unpredictability)
Is humble and teachable (does not operate from pride)
Bears the fruit of the Spirit because her heart is surrendered to the Holy Spirit

A trustworthy woman is not self-made or self-taught. She is God-formed.

Trust grows where consistency lives. Just as God is unchanging, a trustworthy woman becomes someone others can rely on--not because she is perfect, but because she is steady. A trustworthy woman does not bend truth to protect herself or harm others. She aligns with it because she is anchored in a God who never lies, a God who wishes her only good. Faithfulness is not convenience--it is a commitment. A trustworthy woman reflects a God who never breaks His word. Like God, she is faithful to her word and honors her commitments. A trustworthy woman is led by the Spirit. Her trustworthiness is not rooted in always knowing what to do, but in knowing where to go for wisdom. Just as God is a refuge for His people, a trustworthy woman becomes a place where others feel safe--not because she is perfect, but because she is anchored.

Trustworthiness is not a performance or a skill--it is a fruit.

"By their fruit you will recognize them..." Matthew 7:16

By her fruit, you will recognize her. Her husband will recognize her--both her earthly husband and her eternal husband, Christ Jesus.

Monthly Intention:

This month, I will rebuild or strengthen my trust in the Lord. I will submit to Him, and seek His help in becoming a trustworthy woman.

Dig Deeper Journal Prompts:

Where in my life am I most struggling to trust myself?
Where in my life am I most struggling to trust the Lord?
What thoughts or patterns do I demonstrate that might not align with God's word?
When I feel anxious or uncertain, do I tend to react quickly or seek God first?
What fruit is currently evident in my life--and what might that reveal about where I'm rooted and where I'm not?
What past experience or choice do I need to forgive myself for and seek God's forgiveness for?
How do I currently demonstrate trustworthiness?
Are there instances in which I am untrustworthy? Is this pattern part of my overall character or attached to a specific relationship?
How have my past experiences affected my ability to trust? Can I surrender my wound to God and let Him heal me?
Has my perception of who God is hindered my ability to trust Him?
How does it feel to know you don't have to do this alone? God is with you and He is leading you through your journey of becoming.

Task:

The purpose of this study is intentional becoming, so I ask you to choose four of the journal prompts listed above and reflect on one per week for the next month as part of your study. If you'd like, you can post your responses in the comments of this post.

I pray this month's devotional on trust has inspired you and helped you, and I look forward to next month as we continue this journey together.