Project 31 Month 1: Reclaiming Your Worth & Identity in Christ
- Mar 11
- 14 min read
"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10
There are many narratives that circulate in Christian circles, in modern media, amongst regional groups and beyond about womanhood, femininity, and what it means to be a wife. But there is no greater narrative to buy into than the truth and God's word is the truth.
In this first installment of Project 31, we will combat the lies of the enemy and reclaim what it means to be a woman of God by remembering our innate, God-given identity and worth.
While Proverbs 31 refers to a wife and is used as inspiration for wives, this scripture is inspiration for godly living regardless of marital status.
This devotional series is for:
women of any age
women desiring to strengthen their identity in Christ
women desiring to become the woman God has called them to be
unmarried yet preparing (wives in the waiting)
women who are currently married
divorced women hoping for a second chance
widowed women looking to reconnect with themselves and God
While many teachers focus on specific groups--singles, married people, etc.--my hope is to be inclusive, because there is meaning to be found on every page of the Bible for every season. Proverbs 31 is not just for those hoping for marriage or those who are married. Proverbs 31 is for any woman seeking to become a virtuous woman. And so, let's get started on this year-long journey of becoming the women God has called us to be. Regardless of man, we know we are the church and the church is the wife of Christ.
Innate Identity & Worth
From the beginning, the enemy's strategy has always been the same--to distort what God says. In the garden, the serpent attacked truth and planted doubt. He asked a question that made Eve doubt God's word. "Did God really say...?" Genesis 3:1 That same whisper echoes today, leaving many of us carrying the weight of a false identity shaped by shame, comparison, rejection, or culture.
The Proverbs 31 woman is not a standard we must earn. It's not a badge that comes with a ring and a marriage certificate. She is a portrait of what a woman looks like when she lives from her God-given identity.
The first step in becoming the woman God has called you to be is remembering who He says you already are. Our transformation begins not with striving, not with effort, not with checking things off a list. Rather, it begins with a deep breath and letting God's words about identity and worth sink deep into our souls.
We Are Created With Purpose & Value
"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27
Often times, women are seen as afterthoughts in the creation story, but we know that God is meticulous and purposeful. He did not forget about women when creating man nor did He create us to find our identity in our husband. Throughout scripture we see feminine metaphors used to describe God and Jesus. We reflect parts of the Father that our male counterparts cannot. While the most notable is our ability to create life, birthing children is not the only way we reflect God's feminine qualities. We reflect His emotions, empathy, compassion, nurturing qualities, wisdom, and discernment more so than men. And while many use Genesis 2:18 to belittle women and associate our value and purpose with how we serve men, there is nothing shameful or subservient about being a helper. Scripture frequently calls God a helper, portraying Him as a rescuer, protector, and shield. And finally, Jesus refers to the Holy Spirit as our helper sent to teach us more than His time allowed. Our ability to help is not limited to our husband or romantic counterpart. And how great a value is a helper? How strong of a purpose?
We Are Fearfully & Wonderfully Made
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:13-14
We Are Children of God
"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are." 1 John 3:1
Scripture says we are adopted by God, chosen to be His family. For anyone who has experience with adoption, fostering, or even co-parenting your step-children, your heart understands the love behind God's choice to choose us and call us His. He chooses us and loves us not because we're perfect children, but because He is that good. He chooses us on our worst day.
We Are God's Masterpiece
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10
This is a scripture that personally speaks to me as God continues to reveal the calling on my life. How amazing of an honor is it that God has trusted each of us with good deeds to complete? No matter what your job title or relationship status is, you have tasks the Lord has trusted you with. You have purpose and value.
We Are Chosen
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession." 1 Peter 2:9
We Are Not Alone
"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth." John 14:16-17
We Are Protected
"He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler." Psalm 91:4
The truth of who we are and what we mean to God is our shield against the false identities Satan wants us to embrace.
We Are Pursued
“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?" Luke 15:4
Throughout scripture we see God's constant pursuit of humanity. He walked in the garden with Adam. After sin entered the world, He continued to manifest His presence in different ways--the burning bush, the fire and the cloud, etc. He sent His Son to dwell among us and ultimately, restore covenant between us. And He sent our Helper, the Holy Spirit, to serve as a direct connection between us and Him so that He can continue to speak to us and guide us in truth and wisdom even after He no longer walked among us in the flesh. How loved are we that we are pursued by the Almighty God?
We Are Provided For
"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
We Are Seen & Given Dominion
"What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels, And You have crowned him with glory and honor. You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet..." Psalm 8:4-6
The New Testament expands our authority in Christ by giving us power over demons and evil spirits and the ability to heal the sick by the power of the Holy Spirit. It also expands our purpose by tasking us with leading others to Christ. But even before Jesus Christ and the gospel, man was given power and dominion over God's creation. How highly must God view us to place His work in our hands to steward?
We Are Not Condemned
"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit." Romans 8:1
God never created us to be perfect. He created us to be His. He created us to have relationship with Him, to be His family, to be His helpers, to be His children, to be His vessels, to be the receivers of His love and goodness. And when Satan tried to steal us from Him, God brought us back home to Him by creating a path to redemption through the blood of Jesus Christ.
God Rejoices Over Us
"The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
God Is Patient & Merciful Towards Us
"Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
We Are Loved
"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
I could keep going and we'd spend the rest of our lives discovering God's unending, long-suffering love for us. And you know what, maybe that is the point of life? But for the sake of this post, the truth we must rest in is everything that God says we are, and everything He does for us, stems from His love for us.
The essence of God's identity is love. Created in His image--yes, even us women--the essence of our God-given identity is love. We were created to receive love from God and others and reflect God's love towards others and ourselves. And what great worth is that that we are tasked with being God's vessel, God's mirror, His reflection in this broken world? This is why Satan does everything in his power to strip us of love--love for God, love for others, and even love for ourselves.
A woman who reflects God's heart, His light, and His mercy--a Proverbs 31 woman--is a woman who walks in love.
A reading from 1 Corinthians 13:
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13 speaks of love as one of three everlasting things that remain when everything else is stripped away. Words without love are meaningless. Faith without love is powerless. Work without love is fruitless. Love is our essence, and our essence is anchored in God regardless of our failures or short-comings.
One of the greatest lies Satan tries to make us believe is that God no longer loves us, or perhaps that He never did. When we feel unloved or abandoned by God, we lose sight of our identity as God's child and chosen vessel, as an heir to the kingdom of Heaven. We lose sight of our worth. And when we are not filled by God's love, we cannot step into our purpose to reveal His love to others. Nor can we embody the characteristics of a virtuous woman as the greatest virtue is love.
Today, I ask you to remember this truth. You are loved. God's love for you is patient, kind, compassionate, selfless, sacrificial, protective, trustworthy, long-suffering. God's love for you never fails. God's love for you outlasts every sin, every temptation, every short-coming, every tantrum, every tear. God's love birthed the universe and everything and everyone in it. His love is limitless. Remembering His love for you is key to reclaiming your innate identity and worth as a woman of God.
The Bondage of Needing to Be Chosen
I can personally attest to how Satan's distortion of identity--who God is and who He says I am--has led me to make choices that do not reflect my value as a child of God. I spent many years seeking love and validation from unreliable sources. I felt unseen, unloved, and disgarded because of an unmet longing for relationship. So, when romantic interest presented, I jumped rather than discerned.
When we do not understand that we are already loved and chosen--when we do not feel God's love for us--we cannot rest in our identity or worth as His. We seek others to tell us how much we're worth and we seek to prove ourselves to men by whatever means necessary. We are held in bondage by our need to be chosen, but God says, we already are.
The Proverbs 31 woman is a wise woman, and wisdom comes from resting in God's truth. That truth includes the truth of who we are to Him and what value we have here on earth.
The Misunderstood Woman of Proverbs 31
Proverbs 31 presents a woman or wife almost as a checklist. This is not so different from how the fruit of the spirit is presented in Galatians 5. She...
does her husband good
works with her hands
rises early to ensure meals are prepared and her household is tended to
is a prudent businesswoman
is strong (spiritually and physically)
is generous
ensures her family is clothed
represents her husband well
speaks with wisdom and kindness
is not idle
raises her children well
fears the Lord
But just as we cannot strive to embody the fruit of the spirit by our own strength and effort, we cannot strive to become a Proverbs 31 woman without the Holy Spirit.
"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it..." Psalm 127:1
We must surrender to the Holy Spirit and be filled with God's Spirit of Love in order to embody the characteristics of a virtuous woman.
Everything she does, she does out of love not obligation. Her love for her husband and children is a reflection of God's love for all mankind.
He loves because He is love, not because He is obligated.
Intentional Becoming
"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10
Did you know that rubies are the most expensive gemstone, more than diamonds? God says a virtuous woman is worth more than the most expensive treasure. He is waiting for His greatest treasure. He is waiting for His virtuous wife. "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband..." Proverbs 12:4 The Lord is waiting for His crown.
This journey of becoming is about allowing Him to refine us into the treasure He created us to be. It is about becoming the wife of Christ who has been cleansed with the washing of His word and is made holy and blameless in His sight.
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." Ephesians 5:25-27
Call to Action:
This month, as we begin our journey of becoming, I ask you to invite God into your heart, your healing, and your process. Even if you already have, intentionally pray to Him yet again to ask Him to fill you with His Spirit, heal you from the inside out, and refine you into the woman He has called you to be. Becoming her is not something we do, but something He does inside us. Our surrender to God and sanctification through His Holy Spirit is a daily process. In my own journey, I've had to re-surrender many times and I will do it again as I embark on this journey with you.
Monthly Intention:
To rest in the love of God and reclaim my identity as His beloved daughter.
Dig Deeper Journal Prompts:
A woman who does not believe she is loved by God will struggle to rest in her identity. She will strive for worth rather than live from it. In what ways have you been striving for worth? In what ways have you been striving for love?
When you think about God’s love for you, what emotions rise up—peace, doubt, resistance, gratitude?
What lies about your identity or worth have you believed about yourself as a woman?
If you truly believed your worth was “far above rubies,” how might your thoughts about yourself change?
Are there areas of your life where you struggle to believe God loves you fully?
What would change in your daily life if you truly believed God delights in you?
When we struggle to feel loved, how does that impact the way we treat others?
How might resting in God’s love change the way you show love to people in your life?
Who in your life might need to experience God’s love through you this month?
Task:
The purpose of this study is intentional becoming, so I ask you to choose four of the journal prompts listed above and reflect on one per week for the next month as part of your study. If you'd like, you can post your responses in the comments of this post.
A Letter to Sisters In Specific Seasons
In the introduction, I expressed how this study can benefit many different groups of women. When you view the wife presented in Proverbs 31 as not just a man's counterpart but the wife God hopes to present to Himself, the scripture takes on a new meaning and does apply to us all. But right now, I want to write a few words to sisters in specific seasons.
To the happily single: Proverbs 31 presents a woman who loves and cares for the people around her. She is a trustworthy confidant. She does good deeds. She works to maintain her independence and be able to give generously. The concept of care and provision shows up in the scripture as cooking and sowing, but you don't have to be a good cook or seamstress to be a Proverbs 31 woman. This is just imagery to reflect the heart of a woman who is wise, thoughtful, resourceful, kind, and caring. And you can be all of these things without ever marrying a man. You can be all of these things as a divorcee or widow. The title of wife does not make a virtuous woman, but a virtuous woman makes a valuable, precious wife--even if only the wife of Christ.
To the wives in the waiting: I write this not just to those engaged but those who hope to be. I consider myself a wife in the waiting. When you desire marriage, you cannot help but take on a slightly more focused lens when reading scripture, especially a scripture like Proverbs 31. We begin to imagine what these qualities look like in action.
Many women may read Proverbs 31 and think the key to being a good wife is waking up early and making breakfast for her husband, sending Him to work with a lunchbox straight from the Crockpot, and spending her day busy tending to the needs of others. This type of application leads to burnout. And the truth is, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to marriage.
God is preparing a specific marriage for you and your marriage will require specific things of you. The key to being the best wife you can is love. Do all things out of love, not obligation. And that is where being filled by God's love comes in. We cannot give what we do not have. So, be filled first before you pour out, lest you risk emptiness. Just as God will replenish your wells of love, so too should your husband. Choose a man who is willing to love and serve as equally, if not greater, than you.
To the currently married: How beautiful is it that you have the blessing of marriage, the title of wife, and you are seeking to steward it well? I do not have many additional words for you, because I believe the majority of this post speaks to your season. Love over obligation.
In my early twenties, I was briefly married. It was not a godly marriage. We both self-described as Christians but neither of us were seeking the Lord. Speaking for myself, this is because I had a false understanding of who God was. I write about that a lot in my other blog posts. Because I did not know God or feel His love for me, I was not equipped to love my husband the way a wife should and yet, I held myself to Biblical standard. I held myself to a standard I could never meet on my own.
God is the one who teaches us how to love. God is the one who empowers us to love and serve. If there is an area where you find it hard to love your husband or serve him or submit to him, bring that area to God and ask for the equipping to be the wife He has called you to be. And yes, discuss it with your husband too. Marriage takes two people to steward well. It's not all on you, but it can start with you.
Closing
I hope you enjoyed this first installment of Project 31. I know I did, and I'm excited to sit down and reflect even deeper on how I can embrace my identity and reflect God's love more intentionally this month. Next month, we'll tackle a new theme rooted in Proverbs 31--trust and vulnerability. Ooof, as a woman who has struggled with trust, I can only imagine the message that is forthcoming.
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