The Discipline and Daily Rhythm of a Proverbs 31 Woman

Jul 20

4 min read

Updated: Aug 13

"She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:27

Welcome to the fourth month of our becoming journey. In last month's Project 31 post, we learned how a virtuous woman works: diligently, willingly, humbly, and honorably. This month, we will unpack another trait of the Proverbs 31 woman: discipline and daily rhythm.

How is daily rhythm different from work? In today's society, our daily ryhthm is usually centered around work or our children's schedules. Our waking, our coming and going, are all dictated by this schedule we keep. The Proverbs 31 woman wasn't so different. She worked. She cared for her children. She tended to her household and husband. She even cared for the less fortunate. She did it all, but how?

Discipline and daily rhythm speaks to how a woman manages her life, her household, and herself.

A virtuous woman is not just defined by what she does, but how she does it.

Proverbs 31 depicts a woman who rises early to care and provide for those under her roof, not just her children but also her servants (Proverbs 31:15). This action reveals these qualities:

A loving and generous heart
Thoughtful time management skills
Pride in provision

She takes pride in caring for her home and family. It's not just a responsibility but an act of love. It is that love that allows her to remain diligent instead of distant. Think of your own relationship with God. What keeps you obedient to Him? What keeps you showing up in faithfulness to Him? Is it responsibility or is it love? I'm sure there are days when it is pure discipline to remain faithful, but I'm also sure--most days--your choice to follow Jesus is born of love.

Both love and discipline are required to keep the rhythm of a virtuous woman. But this love and discipline is not only directed toward others. The Proverbs 31 woman also takes time for herself to ensure she is able to fulfill her responsibilities at home.

"She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms." Proverbs 31:17

Note strength is mentioned twice here. I'd like to think the first strength she seeks is from the Lord. His strength is the internal perseverance we all need to show up in our lives. The second strength is the literal physicality needed to be our best for ourselves and those around us.

Many look at the Proverbs 31 woman as a woman of service, constantly working and tending to others. I see her as a woman of balance.

Balance is necessary to become the woman who does it all, because no one can do it all on a single day.

God sets the example of balance, of task organization, time management, and rest when He created the world. God modeled the rhythm of virtue.

Proverbs 31 is the portrait of a virtuous woman. The thing about portraits is, they take a while to finish. They are painted on canvas and the time to completion may span days or years depending on the size. As you become the virtuous woman God has called you to be, remember that He has not called you to become her in one day after reading one blog post or one scripture that depicts the air quotes "perfect" woman.

Our God is a God of balance and of rest. He values small acts of daily faithfulness over dramatic attempts at perfection. This daily faithfulness as you care for your home and those inside it may look like:

making breakfast or lunches for the ones you love
having a special Sunday meal once a week
creating small routines that help you (and others) maintain the home
priming your heart for acts of love with daily scripture reading
reframing responsibility in your mind as an act of love and stewardship
checking in emotionally with those closest to you

For me, I love taking care of my home. Not because I love every task (ahem, cleaning the shower), but because I'm so grateful for a safe, cozy place to live. And also, cleaning and caring for a home is a type of ownership, stewardship. It makes me feel more connected to what is mine. The same can be said when you show up for your husband, your children, your neighbors, your co-workers. When you show up you're saying, "This is mine. I'm going to take care of it." Or a more stewardly way would be to say, "This is mine to take care of."

Taking care of what's yours is an act of worship and holy stewardship.

That is the mindset of the virtuous woman, the heart behind the action. With that said, our daily rhythm and discipline may look different in different seasons. I'm currently in a season where it's more difficult for me to show up physically for my home and those around me. The love remains, but it shows up in smaller ways. It looks like doing what I can, but caring for myself enough to know that my recovery is the most important stewardship.

Do not feel guilty if your best looks different from day to day. But having certain routines or rhythms will keep you grounded and disciplined even when you're not feeling your best.

A virtuous woman understands emotional needs and physical needs.

She models this understanding in the way she stewards her own body with spiritual strength (emotional need) and literal strength (physical need). As such, her rhythm is not just about being in tune with herself and home, but it's also about being in step with those under her care. The way she shows up for them is more than physical. It's emotional. She watches over all the ways of her household--what is coming in, what is going out, what is influencing those around her, how those around her are feeling. I'm sure I could keep going. This is where starting your day with God, building your spiritual strength, becomes the most important part of your daily rhythm.

God equips you to love those around you.

God equips you to serve those around you.

God equips you to love and care for yourself.

God equips you for wise stewardship and gives you things and people to steward.