In this final post inspired by my recent mission trip to Greece and Turkey, I want to write about a message that came to me my very first day in Athens and continued to ring true throughout the entire trip. We are a people searching for truth, and we always have been. When you travel through Athens and the Greek islands, you are surrounded by ancient ruins. Unlike many cities with historic districts, the entire city of Athens is historic. This is a city, a country that was ancient (well over one thousand years old) during the time of Jesus. And every corner of it still holds remnants of its past. While this is incredibly cool to see, these ruins aren't just pretty old houses or cobblestone streets. These ruins are what's left of ancient temples to gods and goddesses. The ancient Greeks, like all of us, were trying to make sense of the universe. They were trying to make sense of creation, of how they came to be. And they were searching for a higher power than themselves to believe in. At our core, we are seeking understanding and we are seeking someone to worship. Imagine a world where there wasn't a God at all. Imagine a life in which you had only yourself to rely on. Imagine an existence without a promise of purpose or an eternal destination. How hopeless is that? How overwhelming is that? It makes sense that ancient cultures sought something or someone to believe in. But where we lack understanding, the devil presents a lie--a counterfeit faith, a counterfeit god, a counterfeit gospel. On that note, I think it's worth acknowledging that as prideful as Satan is, he never created a fake religion in which he was the only one to be worshipped. It was always gods and goddesses, multiple beings to drive humans away from the idea of one all-powerful, almighty God. Even witchcraft promotes the worship of different demons rather than just Satan. And yet, there are traces of biblical truth found within the counterfeit religion. Traces of truth that represent both how far the enemy will go to make his lie seem valid and how impossible it is to erase God's truth. Every lie that the enemy thought would prevail eventually is left in ruins. As we walked through the Acropolis museum on that first day, we saw specific artifacts and heard specific stories that felt like a distortion of truth, or perhaps a grasping at truth. For example, one of the statues had a rod that turned into a snake, which we know to be taken from the story of Moses. A story from Greek mythology, depicted with artifacts in the museum, revealed the belief that giants are the children of the earth goddess and the sky god. We know this to be true, except we know from the Bible it was the fallen angels (from the sky) that procreated with human women that bred the giants known as nephilim. In many ways, the ancient Greeks were so close to understanding, but two things kept them from it. The first, the Bible tells us that the mystery of God was intentionally hidden until the Son of God revealed the truth. "...the mystery which has been hidden from ages and from generations, but now has been revealed to His saints. To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." Colossians 1:26-27 "...was not made known to the sons of men in other generations as it has now been revealed." Ephesians 3:4-6 Second, we know the devil's influence was at play. The worship of false gods is not new. The desire for truth, for understanding, to believe in a higher power, and to worship is not new. Our hearts long for truth and understanding, because God has always sought to reveal the mystery of Himself to us. And now that the mystery has been revealed, I can't help but think of how many people still haven't heard the good news? How many people are left searching for truth and understanding? How many people are grasping at the devil's lies thinking they are the only option? In Acts 17:16-21, we see Paul preaching the gospel in Athens. Surrounded by all of the symbols of idol worship, he was enraged and yet, he also recognized this people's desire for understanding when he came across the altar to the unknown god. "And they took him and brought him to the Areopagus, saying, "May we know what this new doctrine is of which you speak? For you are bringing some strange things to our ears. Therefore we want to know what these things mean." For all the Athenians and the foreigners who were there spent their time in nothing else but either to tell or to hear some new thing." Acts 17:19-21 "Then Paul stood in the midst of the Areopagus and said, "Men of Athens, I perceive that in all things you are very religious; for as I was passing through and considering the objects of your worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO THE UNKNOWN GOD. Therefore, the One whom you worship without knowing, Him I proclaim to you: God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands. Nor is He worshipped with men's hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things. And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us..." Acts 17: 22-27 It is surreal to have walked the very streets that Paul walked, to have visited both the acropolis in Athens (the place where the false gods were worshipped) and to have stood on Mars Hill, or the Areopagus, where Paul preached the truth of THE UNKNOWN GOD. As you can see, there is no temple where Paul preached, because God does not need a temple built by human hands to be present. He has created His own temple--us--in which He dwells. With the grand temples of Athens in the background, Paul preached on a rock--a natural rock created by the Creator, about a God who needs nothing from us, but seeks to give us everything. This image resonates with me today, but I imagine it resonated with those Athenians seeking truth thousands of years earlier in a much more significant way. They stood amongst nothing except each other to hear of the God who created everything and seeks to give everything to those who seek Him.

Good morning friends! Today's post is unexpected for this writer, but after completing my devotional this morning and praying that God would not let me miss the lessons He's trying to teach me, this felt like a message worth sharing. Without any delay, let's jump in. I often feel guilty for waiting on the Lord to act in my life. I feel guilty for desiring a husband. I feel guilty for the struggles I've faced as I wait for marriage and motherhood. I feel guilty for the times I've contemplated giving up on God and taking matters into my own hands. There are times when it feels like I want a husband more than I want God, despite that not actually being the case. There are times when it feels like God is not enough for me, because I desire this other thing so strongly. Again, that's not actually the case. If I wanted a husband more than I want God, I would not wait on the Lord to unite me with the man He has prepared for me and me for him. If I trusted my plan more than I trusted the Lord's plan for my life, I wouldn't be waiting on the Lord's plan to unfold. If I did not love the Lord, I would not care about the consequences of unfaithfulness. I feel guilty for waiting, because waiting implies discontent, dissatisfaction. Waiting on the Lord implies that what He's already done is not enough. While it's true that waiting is a sign of dissatisfaction or incompleteness, waiting is also an act of worship, a sign of faithfulness, and a part of the Christian walk every believer faces. We're all waiting for something. We're all waiting for someone, even if the only person we hope to be united with is the Lord. Throughout scripture, we see the call to wait. Waiting on the Lord Himself: "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" Psalm 27:13-14 "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." Psalm 37:7 "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope." Psalm 130:5-6 "But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength..." Isaiah 40:31 Waiting for God's Timing: "Though it delay, wait for it; it will surely come." Habakkuk 2:3 Other examples: Abraham and Sarah waited decades for their son Isaac. Hannah prayed and weeped for years for God to heal her barrenness. David was anointed king long before he actually became king. Jesus waited 30 years to begin His ministry, and is still waiting to be united with His church. Waiting Through Suffering: "The Lord is good to those who wait on him...It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Lamentations 3:25-26 "If we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." Romans 8:25 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12 Other examples: In James 5:7-11, believers are compared to farmers patiently waiting for harvest. Hannah teaches us that waiting is not always pretty. Patience is not always pretty. Abraham and Sarah teach us that faithfulness isn't fluid. Sometimes we doubt, take matters into our hands, and have to learn from our mistakes before re-committing ourselves to God's plan in faithfulness. God teaches us that faithfulness is always worth it, because He is faithful to us. "For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 "Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6 "And thus Abraham, having patiently waited, obtained the promise." Hebrews 6:15 God is faithful to complete His work in us. God is faithful to bring us into prosperity. We may not know the plan God has for us, but waiting for His plan to unfold is an act of trust that where the Lord leads is good, what the Lord offers is good. Waiting on the Lord is worship. Every day that we refuse to take back control, manipulate outcomes, abandon obedience, or settle for less than God's will, we declare: God is trustworthy. God is good. God's timing is wiser than mine. God's plan is better than mine. I say all of this mostly for myself, as a reminder that waiting isn't disobedience or ungratefulness nor is it anything to be ashamed of. Waiting on the Lord isn't a sign that the Lord isn't enough for you or me. It's actually proof that you love the Lord enough--trust the Lord enough--to surrender your heart's desires to Him, to surrender the trajectory of your life to Him. When I first surrendered my heart's desires to the Lord, I did so reluctantly. I've had my time of going my own way, thinking I know best, and I've seen where it's gotten me. At first, waiting on the Lord was done in anger and frustration. It felt like, "Fine, You win. I'll do it your way." But over time, as I've gotten to know the Lord, waiting on Him has shifted to..."I can't in good conscience take back my surrender, not only because I know I'll fail without You, but because I don't want to do this without You." Waiting on the Lord is refusing to do life without Him. Waiting may be a sign of incompletion, but it is not the absence of living. Galatians reminds us to not grow weary of doing good. 1 Corinthians reminds us to be steadfast, continuing to live in the calling the Lord has given us. Calling doesn't wait for completeness. It proceeds and is part of completeness. Colossians tells us to work faithfully while waiting for our inheritance, which is in the Lord. My devotional this morning spoke of keeping the truth and maintaining trust in the Lord. Waiting may feel like a passive word, but it is an active existence, as active as keeping, maintaining, trusting, persevering, finishing. "Open the gates, that the righteous nation which keeps the truth may enter in. You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts you. Trust in the Lord forever, for in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength." Isaiah 26: 2-4 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7 Ultimately, our entire existence--as believers--is a form of waiting, as we wait to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living and to be united with Christ in Heaven. "Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior." Philippians 3:20 The Christian life is a life of endurance and our race toward the finish line includes many twists, turns, and pot holes we may or may not dodge. God knows that waiting is difficult. God knows that hope deferred makes the heart sick. God knows this life is a race, a test of endurance. God knows you're tired. I'm tired. But it is the moments of fatigue, when you feel like giving up, when you feel like quitting the race or taking an easier route to the finish line, that your faithfulness is truly tested. Faithfulness isn't tested when everything is going right, when your emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental batteries are fully charged. Faithfulness is tested in the moments of fatigue--when you feel like giving up, but don't. I don't know what the Lord has planned for me. I don't know if marriage and motherhood are part of my story. I want to believe they are. I pray they are. My hope is quieter on certain days and louder on others. The truth is, I don't know. What I do know is what is written (a little tie in to our current Sunday series at WOGM). I know that God's plan is good, no matter what it includes or where it leads (Jeremiah 29:11). I know that hope in the Lord is not misplaced (Romans 8:25). I know that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1 I know that God withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11). And that is why waiting is so important. Wait on the Lord in faith. Wait on the Lord in obedience. Wait on the Lord because you trust Him. Wait on the Lord because you don't want to do life without Him. Wait on Him even when it's hard, even when you're angry, even when you're tired. Wait on Him because He and whatever or whoever He plans to bring into your life will be worth the wait. "But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength..." Isaiah 40:31

I'm back with another reflection from my recent mission trip to Greece and Turkey. This time, we're visiting Corinth--the place Paul lived and worked for 18 months. After visiting this beautiful location, I can see why he spent so much time here. The water is crystal clear. The mountains are gorgeous. And unlike many parts of Greece, there are actual trees and grass. Corinth is absolutely stunning, but Paul's time here wasn't all sunshine and slouvaki. While in Corinth, Paul faced opposition and was even beaten and arrested. While there, I saw the remains of the flogging post that Paul was tethered to in the central square. The image that presents in my mind is startling. In a place where the worship of gods and goddesses was the primary religion, preaching the gospel was certain to receive backlash--in more ways than one. Yet, Paul's time in Corinth was one of his most fruitful pilgrimages. The Corinthian church was born and thus, the teachings of 1st and 2nd Corinthians that we so often turn to today. But for the sake of this post, I want to share with you my own opposition and triumph in Corinth. This was only our second full day on our mission trip and little did we know, we'd be tasked with climbing a literal mountain. Did you know Greece is mountaneous? Well, I didn't. In the Grecian heat, little water, empty stomaches, and with ill-equipped tennis shoes, we began our trek. What began as a seemingly easy climb up some cobble-stone steps turned into a barely marked, rugged path that had me on my hands crawling up the mountain. Out of water, dry lips, constantly reapplying sunscreen--I could see the top (the destination) but was unsure which path to take to get there. Myself and three others were separated from the larger group. We feared getting lost. Maybe we were lost. As others considered turning back, I wondered what coming back down would be like. Maybe if we kept going, there would be a safer path back to the bottom? Thinking this the case, I put on some worship music and encouraged the rest of my little group to finish the climb after we received direction on which way to go. When you're lost, wait for the Lord to direct your steps rather than continuing down the wrong path. This experience of listening to worship music--without headphones, so that my group wouldn't lose me-while I ran, sometimes crawled, up the side of this mountain was emotional. The first song that came on my playlist was actually a song that I sang as part of my audition for our church choir. This moment made me feel that God was me, and it made me feel--like the day I joined the choir--that I was part of a team. As me and my group made it to the top, completing the task we were starting to think impossible, we became a team. Corinth was our bond-building day, and I'm so thankful it was early in the trip. But what I took from this day wasn't only the newly-formed bonds with my fellow missionaries. It was also the presence of Christ, and the joy of doing hard things. God was with us that day, as if there's a single day He isn't. He kept us strong and healthy as we climbed. He kept us from passing out from dehydration. He gave us the reward of finishing the race and making it back down the mountain safely. Unfortunately, we did have to go back down the way we came and it was not fun. But still, this day reminded me of three principles. Christ gives us the power to do hard things. If you're going through a storm or challenge, why stop and linger? Keep going. Nothing lost that desires to be found remains lost. God seeks us out and rejoins us to Him just like He rejoined us to our group at the top of the mountain. And then we had the best meal of our entire trip! Greek family style cooking: chicken slouvaki, moussaka, Greek salad, pita and tzatziki, homemade lemonade, and more. The next time you're faced with a challenge, remember that Christ gives you the power to do hard things. Choose to keep going rather than turn back. And if you feel lost, ask for help, for direction. God will guide you. "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7

Hi from the Greek islands! For over a week now, I’ve been traveling with a church group through Greece and Turkey, retracing the steps of Paul and spreading the light of Christ along the way. Today, I’m taking a moment to pause from tours and sightseeing and share my reflections from this trip. This first post couldn’t be more fitting as it speaks to the importance of global connectivity among believers. I often question what purpose this blog serves. I know my readership isn’t massive, but I always tell myself if this blog helps just one person grow closer to God or discover God, then it’s worth it. I was reminded of the purpose of this blog in Turkey, where I was connected with a tour guide who converted to Christianity after marrying into a Christian family. Our guide explained, that given Turkey is a Muslim country, he’s experienced a degree of persecution for his choice to convert and he is unable to attend church or foster Christian community where he lives because there are no churches within proximity. The government controls what is allowed to be built and the government has not approved for a Christian church to be built in Kusadasi. To attend church and be among other believers, our guide must travel over 300 miles, which makes regular church attendance and in-person community impossible. His story reveals the reality of so many in countries where the national belief is not Christianity. They are not lost. They are disconnected. So, how do we foster global connectivity among believers as organizations and as individuals? Utilize the technology you have to stream your church services Share your testimony and Biblical reflections on social media Create a Facebook group for believers Start a blog like this one Do not fear a language barrier. The truth is, most people know English and if they do not, technology allows for translation. Your words matter, and you never know who they may reach. There are certain realities that never really affect us until they do. We hear of the devasting persecution of Christians, specifically in other countries. We know that freedom of religion is a blessing. But we don’t really understand how big of a blessing it is until we see what it looks like on the other side. Knowing is not the same as understanding. Even now, I don’t pretend to understand the struggles that believers in non-believing countries face. But I do have more perspective and empathy than I did a week ago. I hope you do too. Let this post be a reminder to count your blessings if you live in a country with religious freedom. Let this post be a call to utilize the freedom and technology you have to connect with other believers and help them connect to Christ. And if you are a believer searching for a community, I hope you feel like you’ve found one. You are part of the global Christian family. Resource: https://youtube.com/@wogm?si=n-AMIg56dgwgCqmS One last thing...you see the photo (first picture on the second row). This is a symbol carved into the marble grounds of ancient Ephesus, one of the many places that Paul visited and wrote the letter of Ephesians to. What do you think this symbol is? Our guide asked us and we were all encouraged to give different answers. I said a wagon wheel. Others said a game, a compass, a map. It was very easy for us to come up with interpretations of this symbol and that was the point. This symbol is called the Ichthys Wheel and it is one of the earliest symbols of Christianity. While we may know the earliest symbol as the fish, representing when Jesus multiplied the fish, this symbol swiftly followed. Ichthys is the Greek word for fish, the letters of which (IX0YE) ***imagine I have a Greek symbol keyboard*** are an acronym for "Jesus Christ, God's Son, Savior." Anyone who understood Greek would know the word for fish and could decipher the meaning of the symbol. By layering the letters on top of one another, the word becomes nearly unidentifiable and the symbol became a safe place for Christians to gather in plain sight. And when they were asked, what are you gathering about? What does this symbol mean? They could easily say it's a game, a map, a compass, or anything other than what it truly meant. This symbol was carved all over the grounds of Ephesus, and it was one of the most powerful things I saw that day. It is a reminder of a time when Christians were forced into hiding. And it wasn't the only reminder I saw while in Greece and Turkey. I visited catacombs in Milos where believers hid and were buried. Seeing these hiding places and hidden symbols and hearing the present day story of my tour guide made me realize--Christians hiding in plain sight is not necessarily a thing of the past. If you do not have to hide, be thankful. If you do, I am praying for you. For the believers who came before, I am inspired by you.

Hi friends! Today, I should be in Italy, sailing on a boat along the Amalfi Coast, swimming in the Mediterrean Sea. Instead, I am sitting in my sunroom after being forced to cancel the first part of my three-week European trip. No, today's post is not about the sorrow of missing the Amalfi Coast. But it is worth noting, I wouldn't be writing this post if my trip had gone according to plan. So, maybe this post and the one coming next was the plan? Maybe there's someone out there who really needs these words, and if so, I pray they find you. I've been carrying a lot lately. Honestly, I feel like I haven't had a moment to breathe this entire year, which is now nearly halfway over. Since the end of 2025, it's been one thing after the other. Some tragic. Some heavy. Some happy and amazing. But still...there has not been time to rest. In anticipation of this trip, I devoted myself to completing my first Christian non-fiction book before the end of May. In anticipation of an upcoming surgery, I've been pushing myself harder and harder in the gym--not only trying to reach my goal, but to make the most of the time I have to exercise, knowing it'll be months post-op before I'm back to my strong self. I've been pushing myself spiritually too with intentional Bible study, serving more at church, and even auditioning for the choir in the middle of grief. When tragedy struck, I had too many things on the calendar to slow down and process. The thing is, when one dominion falls, there's always another that follows. Grief is a dominion effect. It has a way of re-opening old wounds, reminding you of the things you lack, the things you wish had gone differently, and the people you miss. Grief can be overwhelming if not all-consuming. And yet, one of the more painful kinds of grief that often goes unnoticed is numbness. I've been keeping myself busy, not in avoidance, but because I've had to. But deep down, I've known, there's a lot beneath the surface I need to process. Yet, when a quiet moment would come, I struggled to put my feelings into words. I struggled to cry. A few tears would slip, but it was not the breaking and releasing I needed. Everything was still buried. Everything was still heavy. And I wonder if it was because I was so intent on remaining grateful despite heartache? It's as if I saw gratefulness and thankfulness as the only way to remain close and connected to God, and I feared that actually giving in to my emotions would mean losing my closeness to God. Instead, it was the suppression of emotions that actually made me feel disconnected. Going into my trip, I was still carrying baggage, and I don't mean the two overpacked suitcases and backpack weighing on my shoulders. My baggage made me eager to escape, even though I knew I'd be returning home to the same problems. But God had other plans. A flight delay. A missed connection. Finally, a cancelled flight. Through it all, God gave me one more chance to break through the numbness and begin the process of unloading. Most of all, He gave me the chance I needed to reconnect with Him. Numbness doesn't just translate to our earthly relationships. It can also affect our spiritual relationship with God. For weeks, I knew God could comfort me when no one else could. I knew reading His word, crying out to Him, and conversating through prayer would make me feel better. But I didn't have the energy. I didn't have the capacity to seek Him. While I knew He was still with me and within me, I felt disconnected. And in the disconnection, my sorrow, my overwhelm, my stress was ampilifed and resentment and anger resurfaced. I was no longer numb. I was broken, and fearful of returning to the same place I'd spent years. I was fearful of blaming God for the things in my life that didn't go according to my plan. I was fearful of pulling away from God and taking back the reigns of control regarding the things I'd already surrendered. I was fearful of committing intentional sin, despite knowing it would only be a coping mechanism. I was fearful of returning to Egypt. Fear of uncertainty and resentment towards God held me in bondage for so long, it hurts me when these old fears and feelings resurface, because it makes me feel like I haven't changed. It makes me feel like I'm still vulnerable to returning to my old ways and mindset. And the truth is, I am. We all are. But sorrow, fear, guilt, none of those emotions are ungodly or proof of failure. Paul confirms this in 2 Corinthians. "For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication!" 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 Godly sorrow produces repentance, a diligence to remain obedient, anger towards sin or depleted desire to sin, a fear of wrongdoing, and a zealous desire to remain faithful and obedient despite sorrow. These feelings or fruits that sorrow can produce in us is vindication for our grief. Sorrow is a chance to prove our faithfulness in the face of what threatens our faith. Whether we sorrow over a mistake we've made, a sin we feel tempted to commit, or an unexpected tragedy, our sorrow can draw us closer to God if we let it. How we sorrow can be proof of our sanctification and further our sanctification process. Sorrow is not proof of God's absence or removal of divine favor. It's a part of the Christian life even the most faithful Christians endured, including Paul. Even Paul experienced travel trouble, and arrived at destinations with no rest only to face external conflict and internal fear. Had I actually been able to board a plane on Saturday, that probably would've been me in Italy. Maybe now, I can arrive at my next destination more rested and more at peace. But if not, I should not take delays or conflict as proof of failure or stepping outside of God's will, and neither should you. Sometimes it's just a part of the journey. My final message to you is simple. Sorrow is a part of life, but it does not have to define your life. No matter how long it takes, keep taking tiny steps toward God until you feel at peace again. As for me, I have to take the same advice. Right now, I feel okay. I got two good night's rest. I'm intentionally slowing down. And that has helped. But am I fully healed? Am I fully immune to sorrow or regret or fear or anger and resentment? No. Maybe the truth is, I never will be. Sanctification is a life-long process. Healing towards holiness is a life-long process. While we can have peace here on earth, the kind of ever-lasting peace I long for only exists in Heaven. And that is why we are called to keep the faith. Faith is not a trophy or medal we collect once, put on a shelf, and never have to fear losing. Our faith is constantly tested, and something we must actively grow and protect. As I embark on this next leg of my journey, or at least try to, I pray for safe travels and continued reconnection with God. God is the source of all comfort, peace, joy, hope, and love. I pray that when I return home I'm not returning to the same baggage. Rather, I pray I return free from the heaviness that has weighed me down for months. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Well, this is a first. It's after 1 AM. I've retreated to the secret place. Journal in hand, I intended to do what I always do when there's too much on my mind to sleep--write a letter to God. Pray. Cry. Find the strength to keep hoping. And I will. But, first, I decided to write a letter to you. Normally, when I sit down to write for this blog, it's in the morning. The sun beams through the windows of my sunroom, and I write with joy and peace. When I go quiet, it's because I don't feel I have the words to uplift you. But sometimes, we don't need to be uplifted. Sometimes we just need to be met right where we are. We need to be met in the struggle, in the heartache, in the uncertainty, in the questions and not judged but related to. Tonight, I meet you there because I am there. Despite so much joy in my life, I am struggling. And the part that hurts the most is it's something I don't know if I'll ever outgrow. I don't know if I'll ever be immune to longing and questioning in the face of uncertainty. I don't know if it'll ever stop hurting. No matter how busy I keep myself. No matter how much I serve or praise. No matter how much God proves Himself to me, that He hears me, He's with me, and He loves me--I'm still hurting. Right now, I feel silenced, unseen, unappreciated, and attacked. And I feel disconnected from the greatest earthly love I ever knew. I feel like I lost a part of myself I was just getting to know. And I'm scared of the parts I thought I'd left behind resurfacing. Tragedy, loss, grief...it makes me long for my husband even more. I crave companionship, gentleness, and support. And I have those things. God has delivered those things in the form of friends, family members, and even strangers--hence the title of this post. White roses have become a symbol for me. I don't need to explain why, but those who know know. I've made a point to keep my vase full over the last few weeks. But one day, the flowers died and I hadn't replaced them yet. On a random Monday, a girl who didn't even know my name, brought me flowers at my gym. She's a florist at the Whole Foods where I like to buy flowers and she's seen me there before. She said these were leftovers and she didn't want them to go to waste. She'd also noticed my consistency in the gym and thought they might be a nice reward for me. This kind gesture from a complete stranger sits on my kitchen counter right now. Those flowers are a reminder that God is with me, that God loves me, and that I am seen--recognized for my character--even if not by everyone. And yet...here I am, only two days later, questioning God. I've written an entire book on the wilderness season and how God seeks to bring us into abundance even when it doesn't look like it or feel like it. I'm familiar with the struggle of waiting on the Lord. I know this moment will pass. I know, eventually, I'll feel okay again. But, moments like this make me realize...I haven't reached abundance, not when my heart is hurting and there's a piece of me missing. Not just a piece--a whole family is missing. I feel like Hannah, who prayed for a child so desperately she was insulted. I feel like Leah, the overlooked, unwanted wife. I feel like Martha, the one focused on doing rather than receiving. When all I want to be is Ruth. I am Ruth, but there is no Boaz. At least, not yet. In saying all of this, I'm not an imposter. I'm just human. And I wonder how many can relate to that? How many of us can relate to trusting God, loving God, feeling so fulfilled by Him in so many ways, and yet still struggling in the waiting for that one thing that you question will ever come. Life isn't fair. As if I didn't already know, recent events have reminded me. There is tragedy and heartache in each of our stories, possibly even in each of our weeks. There is also God's goodness, His provision, and love. But if I'm being honest...I'm tired of having to remind myself of His goodness. I'm tired of waiting on the Lord, even though I refuse to do anything else. So, that's the late-night edition. All I can do is pray I don't have to live in this pain forever. And yes, I have prayed the prayers of surrender. I've asked God to kill my desire to be loved. I've asked Him to kill my longing, my attraction, my physical desires. I've even stopped writing romance just to try to remain present with Him in purity and not escape into fantasy. But...the longing withstands. The desires continue. And now, when the prayer remains unanswered, the desire to escape has resurfaced. Coping mechanisms are resurfacing, and I need prayers for the strength to steward this season well. Pray for your sister, cause she needs it. And I'll pray for you, that whoever reads this gets something good from it. Even if I can't always be the voice that uplifts or edifies, I can be a voice that reminds you you aren't alone. God is with you. He hears you, even when it feels like your prayers land on deaf ears. That knowledge may only take away half the pain, but half is something. Goodnight.

Hi Word family! It's been a while since I've had a Biblical takeaway to share. Partly, because life has been crazy and I've been falling behind on my Bible study. And partly because I'm trying to avoid repetition. I'm currently studying Paul's letters and there are many repeated themes. But sometimes things are repeated for a reason. We can never receive too many reminders when it comes to Christian conduct. Life constantly tests us, stresses us. And in the middle of the frustration, we may slip. We may lose our temper. We may lack empathy. We may move selfishly. We may struggle to uplift those around us and love as Christ calls us to love. Today's post is a reminder to do just that. Throughout 1 Corinthians, Paul is addressing a group of believers who have given in to pride, self-righteousness, classism, idol worship, and sexual sin. To keep it brief, they had issues. Maybe that's why they got two letters? Paul seeks to remind the Corinthians of the truth of the gospel and to realign their hearts with Christ-like love. The two key principles Paul preaches is speech that edifies or uplifts and helps others mature in their faith, and a love that influences every action and squashes every quarrel. "Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy...he who prophesies speaks edification and exhortation and comfort to men. He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself, but he who prophesies edifies the church." 1 Corinthians 14:1,3-4 "Let all things be done for edification." 1 Corinthians 14:26 At a time when God's people were more concerned with how many languages they could speak, and how elaborate of a performance of worship they could put on, Paul reminds them that none of their speech means anything if the person next to them cannot understand it. Understanding may be interpreted as literal understanding or spiritual understanding. Corinth was a merchant city where many spoke different languages. If one person spoke Greek and the other Italian, there would be a literal communication barrier and what was said could not draw the other closer to Christ. Likewise, if someone spoke in a way that sounded elegant but was not mentally or spiritually understood by their fellows, it did not edify. Perhaps this is another reason why Jesus spoke using parables. Parables use everyday events and familiar experiences to illustrate deeper meaning. Parables are more easily understood by the masses. Paul spends much time speaking about the need for interpreters, but the essential message that we can take with us today is... We are to use our speech to uplift fellow believers in their walk with Christ, and to draw unbelievers to Christ. It seems simple enough, but how would our speech change if we filtered everything through this qualifiation? What words would we hold back? What words would we say instead? What conversations would we seek out instead of avoiding? Would we be willing to put our pride aside to speak in a way the person next to us could comprehend? The wisdom to know what to say and the self-control to know what not to say comes only from the Holy Spirit, which is why Paul's first command is to pursue love. "Let all that you do be done with love." 1 Corinthians 16:14 I like to think of the Holy Spirit as the Spirit of Love for God is love and He is His Holy Spirit. When we operate with a heart posture that loves like Christ, we are slower to anger, and quicker to forgive. We show restraint in favor of unity. And we are humble enough to seek God's wisdom over perpetuating our own. When we seek God's wisdom, a new level of understanding is available to us and those with whom we speak. Our words are not our own. They are divine. They are prophesy. And they do edify. Through love of one another, and edification of one another, we come together as the singular body of Christ--a body of believers that is diverse and unified all at once. "For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body--whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free--and have all been made to drink into one Spirit. For in fact the body is not one member but many." 1 Corinthians 12:12-14 As I end this post, I have to say, I am so thankful for the Christian community I am blessed to be a part of. I lived many years without a community, many years feeling like I'd never fit in with other believers, many years fearing judgment from my fellow Christians. But my community uplifts me when I'm low. Their sheer presence brings me joy and happiness. When I read verses like 1 Corinthians 12:12-14, I smile, because I feel that in my church. There is unity. There is diversity. We are one body of different people all serving different kingdom functions, and it's beautiful to witness. Having this perspective enlightens me as to why Paul was so concerned about division in the early churches. A unified church is a strong church, in which every member is uplifted, edified, and loved. Those members are effective in leading others to Christ. A divided church is a weak church that threatens the steadfastness, faithfulness, and hope of even those with the strongest faith. A divided church is an ineffective church. Wherever you are in the world, I hope you find your church home--your congregation of believers that helps you grow closer to Christ. And know that you are a part of the larger body of Christ. We are one in Spirit. You are not alone.

Today's post is rather unexpected but after some thought and prayer, I feel it's worth writing. As I continue reading 1 Corinthians, the topic of marriage is prevalent. Paul spends a lot of time preaching the goodness of remaining unmarried. "He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord--how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world--how he may please his wife...The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world--how she may please her husband," 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 "So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better...she is happier if she remains as she is..." 1 Corinthians 7:38 + 40 Who am I to deny Paul's words? As someone who has been married before, I can attest to the truth in his sentiment that remaining unmarried is better than being in an ungodly marriage that distracts you from the Lord. But the way this scripture reads depicts every marriage as a distraction from the Lord, and that I believe is a false interpretation of scripture. Again, I do believe there's truth in Paul's statement. Marriage has the potential to divide our attention, loyalty, and responsibilities. When you're married, you are responsible for your spouse and you share responsibilities with your spouse. You are loyal to your spouse and your spouse requires your attention. However, a person with a heart transformed by the Lord knows that this offering to your spouse is not in competition with the Lord, but is an act of love and service that the Lord equips us to complete. The love and service we give our spouse should reflect God's love for them and the heart for love and service He has given us. So, while marriage can be a distraction from the Lord, it doesn't have to be. With the right heart posture, marriage can be a way of demonstrating the character of Christ and enjoying the essence of union God so desires for us and designed us for. Consider the story of Adam and Eve. God created us physically and spiritually to desire connection. He hand-delivered Eve to Adam. He blessed their union. The union was never the problem. The problem arose when Eve's influence over Adam became stronger than God's influence. When the couple chose to disobey God, put Him second, that's when the union became a distraction, a competition with the Lord. But we don't have to follow their example. When you marry someone as rooted in Christ as you are-- equally yoked --you both share the same desire to please the Lord. You share a desire to remain obedient to the Lord and to serve the Lord. That marriage is a blessing, not a distraction. And while all marriages may be temporary, a thing of this world as Paul states, our desire for marriage is still good, still rooted in God. Because what does God desire more than union with us? As we embody His Spirit, and get to know His heart, we share the same desires as Him. We share a desire for union. In the context of 1 Corinthians, Paul was speaking to a group of believers who did not yet have the desire to please the Lord. They believed in Christ, but were not yet rooted in Him. They had fallen into rampant sexual sin and pagan worship. They allowed logic to override the spirit of wisdom. They argued that if Christ had fulfilled the law and they were no longer under it, then all things were lawful for them. They saw salvation in Christ as a chance to exercise their free will to do whatever they wanted. What we see here is a prime example of how the enemy exploits the word of God. Just because you can do all things, doesn't mean you should do all things. The Holy Spirit working inside of us grants us the wisdom to walk in righteousness and the desire to do so. The Corinthians had clearly not received the spiritual transformation necessary to walk in righteousness or steward a holy marriage. They were still living in the world. Sex was an act of self-gratification, not a ritual of oneness. They did not understand the concept of oneness for they were not yet one with God. So, when Paul addresses sexual purity and marriage here specificially, he was doing so in a way to guide them towards righteousness. Paul equated singleness with undivided, ultimate devotion to God, which should be their (and our) first priority. He offered marriage as an outlet for those who could not exercise self-control or sexual purity in singleness. He offered a practical solution to meet a practical problem. But a heart submitted to God does not need this lesson. A heart transformed by God can exercise both self-control and a desire for holy connection--a holy union that does not distract from God, but reflects God's design, intention, and love. As a woman desiring marriage, you could say I'm biased, that I'm reading this scripture in a way that gives me hope for marriage instead of shattering it. I won't deny my desire, but I will share how the Holy Spirit has healed my desire for and my perspective of marriage. I used to view marriage as the finish line. Since childhood, I equated my worth with being chosen by man. I let my relationship status or lack of determine my self-view. I used to carry the beliefs... "When I'm skinny enough..." "When I'm pretty enough..." "When I'm worthy enough..." "When I'm healed enough..." "When I'm good enough..." "When I'm submitted to God enough..." I believed that when I became enough , I would meet my husband. I viewed being married as the ultimate validation of my womanhood and worth. There was a time of seeking male validation, settling for unhealthy, toxic, breadcrumb relationships, and struggling with self-esteem. And even after surrendering to God, I still carried the belief that I wasn't good enough simply because God hadn't yet united me with my husband. I gauged the status of my life, my holiness, my readiness, my sanctification based on my marital status. But marriage was never the point. Being chosen by man was never the point. And all the time I spent thinking God was preparing me to be someone's wife, I think He was actually preparing me to be His. Because the actual point of this walk of faith is becoming the wife of Christ. So many good women, godly women are viewed with shame, pity, or suspicion when they aren't married. People wonder why we haven't been chosen. People question what's wrong with us, and yes, put pressure on us to control something that is outside of our control. Society teaches us that marriage is the ultimate status for a woman, and I bought into it. I questioned why I hadn't been chosen . I wondered what's wrong with me. But I am chosen. I am loved. I am pursued by Christ. I no longer equate being single with being unworthy. I no longer equate man's rejection with being unchosen. I know I am chosen, loved, and pursued by God. And I know the work He is doing in me is valuable and transformative, and that work could only be accomplished during this season of singleness. As I sit here, this is a perspective that I spent years missing. Had I known this sooner, had I truly been able to accept this sooner, I would've saved myself a lot of pain. Now, I sit in this very unique place where I still desire marriage and yet, not just any marriage. I desire a marriage that does not distract me from God or compete with the most important relationship in my life. And I do believe this is possible, but I also know it's rare. I think understanding that what I want is rare takes the sting off my singleness. It's no longer a sign of rejection, but a sign of protection. So, yes, I agree with Paul that being undistracted and completely devoted to the Lord is best. Our relationship with the Lord should be first and foremost; however, I disagree that marriage in essence is a distraction from the Lord. It is possible to have a marriage that does not compete with the Lord, rather honors Him. But this is only possible if we demonstrate faithfulness to the Lord in both singleness and in marriage. The Lord is the one who teaches us how to love and serve one another. He is our example, and our faithfulness to Him is the foundation for all other things.

Hello lovelies! It's been a minute since I've shared my takeaways from God's word, mainly because I've been busy reading it and reflecting on it in a different medium. But this morning, I began a study of 1 Corinthians and very quickly a topic of discussion emerged. Context 1st Corinthians is one of Paul's letters, and is written to the believers in Corinth, Greece. What I found fascinating in learning about Corinth is that it was the political captial of Greece as well as a major place of trade and business that connected travelers from the East and West. The geographic location of Corinth made it the hub for Mediterranean trade, which brought together people of different backgrounds and beliefs. While this can be a beautiful thing, it can also be a destructive thing for those whose faith is not yet strong. The believers in Corinth found themselves exposed to pagan worship (worship of Greek gods and goddesses) as well as worldly wisdom , often referred to by Paul as "the wisdom of men." Moral disagreements arose within the church and many believers fell into sin. This letter was written to remind the Corinthians of the truth, and that truth is what we'll unpack in the rest of this post. Scripture "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18 "Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe." 1 Corinthians 1:20-21 In these first two verses, Paul reveals that the word of God will sound foolish to those who are of the world, those who do not believe in the wisdom of God, which is revealed to us through Christ Jesus who was sent for our redemption, who revealed the mystery of God, and who died for our salvation. The story of Jesus Christ is one that requires faith to believe in. All rules of logic would suggest the resurrection is impossible. But for those with the faith to believe in Him, all other wisdom will be revealed. Paul seeks to remind the believers of Corinth to not let logic or the wisdom of men persuade them away from what their faith has already revealed to them--the power and wisdom of God. "For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling. And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God." 1 Corinthians 2:2-5 Paul credits his ability to preach with the power of God. He humbles himself in contrast to the false teachers seeking to glorify themselves before the Corinthians. These false teachers, present througout the Bible and throughout history, claim to have special knowledge only attainable through them. This is one of the ways Satan seeks to steer believers off the straight and narrow path. If he can't get you to deny God, he will confuse you by getting you to follow a false god. Paul sets the example for believers to ground themselves in the truth of the crucifixion for it is the foundation of our faith. We believe not just that the Son of God came to dwell among mankind in the flesh, but that He died for our sins and through the washing of His blood--our ultimate sacrifice--we are made clean and blameless in the sight of the Father. The life of Jesus Christ provides wisdom, but the death of Jesus Christ provides salvation. "...we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God ordained before the ages for our glory...God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God." 1 Corinthians 2:7, 10-12 This collection of verses reveals the purpose of the Holy Spirit who is present with us while our Lord and Savior is in Heaven. Paul implored a Greek philosophical belief that "like is known only by the like" to drive home the truth. He gives the example that only a man's spirit knows his innermost parts. Think of the person who knows you best, the person you've shared the most with. Even still, there are probably some things you've kept to yourself. You know yourself better than anyone--except God. Likewise, the only one who knows God's innermost being is the Spirit of God. God has given us His Spirit so that He may reveal Himself to us and we may know Him the way He knows us. Paul is reminding the Corinthians to live by the Spirit, to let the Holy Spirit be their teacher not the false teachers, and to let the God Most High be their God, not the false gods and goddesses prevalently worshipped in this region. Takeaway In the early days of the church, Paul often had to fight against false teachers and false wisdom by reminding believers of the truth of Jesus Christ which reveals both the power and wisdom of God. "For Jews request a sign, and Greeks seek after wisdom; but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men." 1 Corinthians 1:22-25 Today, we fight our battles against the influence of the world with the same truth or rather wisdom . It is a wisdom that comes only by faith in what seems foolish on the surface, but with eyes to see and ears to hear--given to us by the Holy Spirit--what is foolish becomes foundational. This particular point really hit home for me today, and is the reason I wanted to write this post. I have spent most of my life in a state of both ignorance and disregard for the word of God. For many years, I chose not to read my Bible, not to seek the word of God, because (1) I didn't want to feel convicted for my worldly ways, and (2) I didn't think it was still relevant. The little I did know felt foolish in today's society. It felt foolish to me to wait until marriage to have sex. It felt foolish to me to not test out living with a partner before marriage. Logic and fear whisper, "You don't know what you're getting into. You need to assess every aspect of this match before committing." This is not only rooted in fear, which we know does not come from God, but is also rooted in pride--the idea that we know better than God. When I held these beliefs, I was living my life in the driver's seat, clinging to control, taking on the responsibility to make all the decisions. I did not yet understand the importance or even the possibility of submitting my life to Christ. My ignorance stemmed from my childhood experiences which taught me to be self-reliant and independent and also the lack of a solid Biblical foundation. My early church experiences taught the importance of belief in Christ but not submission to Christ, but in the wise words of James , "even the demons believe and tremble." James 2:19 A heart and mind submitted to Christ reveals the foolishness of the worldly mindset. The logical beliefs I once held have given way to a spiritual wisdom I cannot turn my back on. This spiritual wisdom is what Paul seeks to remind the Corinthians of. When the world seeks to sway you, remember the truth and stand strong on the foundation of your faith. What worldly wisdom has God replaced in you with spiritual wisdom? How has submitting your heart and mind to Christ changed you? Leave a comment below and subscribe to be notified of new posts. 🤍 May God bless your steps this week.

I am so excited to announce this new project. After deciding to take a hiatus from writing fiction, there were two specific projects that I feel God placed on my heart. The first, Wilderness: The Journey from Bondage to An Inheritance of Endless Love, I've been working on quietly behind-the-scenes. This is a full-length Christian non-fiction book I want to keep close to my heart until it is finished. The second, is Project 31: A Year of Becoming A Proverbs 31 Woman. This project originated as a book idea, and I hope to expand it into a full-length book one day. But, for now, Project 31 is a devotional series which will feature one devotional essay each month for a year centered on a specific theme rooted in Proverbs 31. Each essay will include scripture reflections related to the Proverbs 31 theme, journal prompts for the reader, a monthly goal for intentional living, and a prayer for intentional becoming. The idea for this series was a combination of divine inspiration and my desire to make the most of my 31st year. Turning 30 was huge for me, as was the year that followed. I want my 31st year to be just as transformative, and every transformation begins with intention. The journey to becoming a Proverbs 31 woman--the woman God has called me to be--is one I hope to partake in and lead others on. Here is a closer look at the monthly themes grounded in Proverbs 31 I hope will inspire a year of intentional living and intentional becoming for me and all who join me. Month 1: Worth & Identity Month 2: Trust & Vulnerability Month 3: Work, Purpose, & Calling Month 4: Discipline & Daily Rhythm Month 5: Provision & Stewardship Month 6: Strength & Dignity Month 7: Compassion & Service Month 8: Home, Peace, & Environment Month 9: Wisdom & Discernment Month 10: Faithfulness In The Waiting Month 11: Joy & Delight Month 12: Legacy & Becoming This journey begins March 2026, but you can join the journey at any point and go back and read the previously published content.

If you can't tell by now, I like to write and reflect. I can remember last March, as I turned thirty, journaling my intentions not just for the year, but for the decade. After a chaotic, heartbreaking decade of lost years, I wanted thirty to be a fresh start for me, and today, I want to reflect on how it was just that. March 9th, 2025: The sentiment that keeps echoing through my mind is, "It's already done. You're just walking into it." I wrote in my journal that God had already made a place for me and a way for me. There was nothing for me to fear. All I had to do was answer the calling, and respond to the nudge in my soul. I wrote this as I prepared to take my first solo trip. I'd been filled with anxiety for weeks, but I knew that this trip would be good for me. I knew that it was time for me to overcome my fear and anxiety in order to receive good things. This is a truth I've held close throughout the year. Good things are on the other side of fear and anxiety. I began my thirties with the mentality that it was time for me to step out of my comfort zone. I wrote, "Tomorrow is a beginning. I'm walking into a new life, a new mindset. Tomorrow could lay the first of a foundation for a life that may be built over many years--even a decade. "It's already done." There's no use worrying about it, fighting against it or fighting myself. Whatever happens, it's going to be okay." When I tell you that my thirtieth year of life has been the most transformative year, I am not exaggerating. I spent the first week of my thirties in Fort Walton Beach, Florida--the place I feel most connected to my dad and the happiest memories from my childhood. This place, this trip , felt like a bridge between my past and my present. It was a time for me to feel connected to the girl I once was before stepping fully into the woman God had called me to be. I journaled every morning on my balcony while enjoying the morning sun and the sounds of crashing waves. I focused on daily gratitude, the lessons of my twenties, restoring my self-worth. I contemplated what God had in store for me--marriage, kids, career shifts. And what unfolded over the following 365 days continued to lay the foundation for the life I've always dreamed of, the foundation that began with that first step of choosing something good even when it scared me. Every pivotal moment in my life has begun with a single step, a single moment of overcoming fear or complacency. I didn't enter this year with a plan, but with an intention. To be honest, I think I forgot what that intention even was as the days passed. But it embedded itself in my soul, so that now when I look back at the choices I made over this year, I can see I was living in the intention to answer the call, follow the nudge, and overcome fear. Thirty was the year that I began solo-traveling, that my relationship with God reached a new level, that I found my church home, that I finally learned to trust and surrender my life to God, that I decided to repent from my secret sin and pursue purity, that I reinstated holy boundaries in dating, that I relinquished my pen to God and let Him write through me, that I began serving at church, that I found community, that I discovered a love outside of romantic relationship, that I found more peace in my singleness, that I finally learned to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, that I finally recognized the spiritual attacks on my life, that God revealed His heart to me, that I learned to love God and myself. It was the year I was re-baptized. It was the year I became a better friend and sister, a better woman overall. It was the year I became an aunt to the most perfect angel to ever live. It was the year my heart was opened to a love I never knew myself capable of. It was the year I became my Father's daughter. Thirty laid the foundation for a life filled with friendship, fellowship, service, community, Christ, love, peace, happiness, and fulfillment. I give all the credit to God. He was the one who nudged me in the right direction, who placed specific callings on my heart, and had softened my heart in the year prior to be receptive to His voice. He was the one who orchestrated meetings that led me closer to Him and others who've become an important part of my transformation. He was the one who led me to my church home and has given me this community and opportunity to serve that is so rewarding. He did it all. "It's already done. You're just walking into it." I'm excited to see what else the Lord is leading me to. When I look back and see the changes that've occurred in my life over the past year, three-and-a-half years, seven years...I know that time does not limit transformation. I expect great things to happen before the end of this year, before I turn thirty-two. But for now, I'd like to set an intention for thirty-one. Lord, I ask that you continue working in me this year. Continue drawing me closer to you, equipping me to embody your Spirit and to love and help others. Continue leading me to abundance, Lord, because I know you want good things for me. I will continue to choose good things over fear, and I will continue to be a good thing and do good things for others. Equip me to be a good thing. March 28, 2025: Something I'm learning is the importance of the temporary, the fleeting. Perhaps this is most easily depicted in my trip to Florida. It was temporary and that made me cherish it more. It was beautiful and for a moment, it was perfect. Life will be filled with fleeting, beautiful moments: relationships, trips, unique experiences. They will make up the tapestry of my life. Maybe that's the shift I've been needing. I've always wanted a forever . But maybe I'm meant to live many lives like the characters I write? Maybe I'm supposed to accept, like April, in the book I'm writing, that temporary can be beautiful. And it's better to be known than never discovered. I just hope, like her, I will one day meet the man who is willing to give me the rest of his days. I'm writing this as I enter my final week as a thirty-year-old, and I still desire a forever . My heart still longs for marriage and for a family of my own. I think the longing is greater than it's ever been, because God has shown me that I don't have to be afraid of love when He has taught both people how to love. I don't have to be afraid of a marriage that God ordains. But for the first time in my life, I'm resting in God's love. I understand that no man can love me like Him. No man can be my Savior. No man can be my peace. No man can give me what God gives me. This is a freeing feeling. Thirty was the year I let go of the idol of romantic love and learned to rest in God's love. I'm also learning how to find beauty in the temporary, because we ourselves are temporary. There will come a day when each of us passes away and the world will forget our names. So I value each moment. I value each friendship, each moment of romance, each moment of depth, each chance I get to meet a new soul and hear their story. I value each second with my nephew, whose life appears more fleeting than most. Thirty was the year my hope in God and the abundant life He promises was restored, but it was not without heartbreak. My life has revealed a pattern of hope and heartbreak coinciding. Seven-and-a-half years ago, my dad passed and I got married to the man I thought would love me forever. My wedding dress actually arrived on the very day of my dad's passing. Three-and-a-half years ago, I was physically at rock-bottom, but I made a choice that began a journey of reclaiming my body, my health, and becoming better than ever before. Two years ago, a relationship I thought would last brought me to the one ever-lasting relationship, and I began my journey through God's word. This year, I received the greatest blessings of my life--a restored relationship with God and the gift of being an aunt. When my nephew was diagnosed with a rare, aggressive, stage 4 cancer at only six months old, everything threatened to unravel. But God has equipped me with endurance. And I know that no matter what tragedy I face this year--at thirty-one--a blessing will swiftly follow, because God is a good Father who binds up our wounds and heals our broken hearts. Even in the face of your greatest heartbreak, there are still good things to come. That statement actually makes me want to share one final memory from my thirtieth year. It was New Year's Eve and, because it was on a Wedneday, there was a service at my church. I don't normally attend in person on Wednesday nights, but this night I decided to, because I needed to. I needed to get out of my house and be surrounded by God's presence. I needed to be filled with the peace of the Holy Spirit in the wake of my nephew's diagnosis. That night, when I walked in, I spotted a friend--the same friend who God used to inspire me to attend Word of God in the first place. I was so thankful to see him, to not have to be alone given all the emotions I was having. That night, the pastor said: "Look to your neighbor and tell them life is about to get good for you ." Given everything that was going on and still is, I needed to hear that. I needed to claim it, and I do. 2026, I proclaim, life is about to get good.

Today's post is inspired by a few key scriptures from the gospel of Luke, and will serve as both a message and an introduction to my upcoming book, Wilderness: The Place Between Bondage and Promise . "Now you Pharisees make the outside of the cup and dish clean, but your inward part is full of greed and wickedness...Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like graves which are not seen, and the men who walk over them are not aware of them." Luke 11:39 + 44 As we know, Jesus often speaks in parables. In this address to the Pharisees, Jesus employs the tactic by comparing them to the very dishes they seek to clean before eating. The Pharisees adhered to strict cleanliness rituals, especially around consumption of food and drink. If they ate on an unclean plate or with unclean hands, then the idea is the uncleanliness would travel inside them. They viewed righteousness and cleanliness as based on the adherence to specific rules and rituals, which was the very thing Jesus came to free us from. They rejected the need for an inner transformation. They rejected Jesus and His teachings. Jesus, in response, said they were already unclean on the inside, already dead--they just didn't realize it yet. "When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest; and finding none, he says, "I will return to my house from which I came." And when he comes, he finds it swept and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first." Luke 11:24-26 Throughout the gospel of Luke, we see Jesus cast out many demons. And yes, demons still exist today. They are Satan's instruments of destruction, and they seek to reside in the human heart. They seek a vessel, a home. Without one, they are forced to return to the abyss. We see this in Luke 8:31-33 "And they begged Him that He would not command them to go out into the abyss. Now a herd of many swine was feeding there on the mountain. So they begged Him that He would permit them to enter them. And He permitted them. Then the demons went out of the man and entered the swine, and the herd ran violently down the steep place into the lake and drowned." When your heart is not filled with the Holy Spirit, it does not matter how holy you look on the outside (the house that is swept and put in order), you are empty, and emptiness will be filled by something. But why seven spirits more wicked than he? Because when we think we're healed, when we think we're holy, when we think we're untouchable, we are all the more vulnerable to attack. Without the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, we are like addicts returning to our vice, thinking we'll be alright. But, more often than not, re-exposure to darkness leaves us worse off than before. "...blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!" Luke 11:28 They key to inner transformation, to make your heart a home for the Holy Spirit rather than wickedness, is God's word. Read it. Meditate on it. Study it. Ask God to reveal His truths to you. This is part of the reason Jesus speaks in parables. Not everyone who hears the word of God will truly understand it. It is written and spoken in such a way that your heart must be primed to receive the truth. This is why no matter how many sermons the Pharisees heard, they did not accept Christ. "The lamp of your body is the eye. Therefore, when your eye is good, your whole body also is full of light. But when your eye is bad, your body also is full of darkness. Therefore take heed that the light which is in you is not darkness." Luke 11:34-35 We, as believers, know that there is an internal battle of the spirit and the flesh that is persistent. We strengthen our spirit by reading God's word, but as we strengthen our spirit, it's also important not to feed our flesh. Now, I've written about this before or perhaps just spoken on it. There are misunderstandings when it comes to the flesh and what it means to deny our flesh. We as humans are not innately corrupt, but we are easily corruptible. God seeks to restore us to the glory we were created to exemplify. We were created to be His children, to have dominion over the earth, to exemplify His goodness here on earth, to love Him, be loved by Him, and to love others like He loves us. We were and are His greatest creation. Sin entering the world has not changed God's intention for man, His love for man, or man's purpose. When we deny our flesh, it's not about denying our humanity, our good, God-given desires. It's not about punishing ourselves and never doing anything we want. That's where this teaching goes off the rails. Denying the flesh is about denying the darkness inside us, denying the spirits seeking to tempt us, denying the lies Satan tries to sell us as truth. We do this in two ways. One, rooting ourselves in God's word and surrending to His will/ His Holy Spirit. Two, starving darkness, which means avoiding temptation. In Luke 11:34-35, we see that our hearts aren't the only thing we need to guard. We also must guard our eyes. Wilderness: The Place Between Bondage and Promise The idea for this book, my first Christian non-fiction book, came to me while writing for this very blog. I truly feel that God revealed the title to me and the purpose of this book, which is ultimately to encourage others in their wilderness season: the time between being saved and being fulfilled by Christ. Like the Israelites, our time in the wilderness is a time when we are tested, when we do not yet know God, when we face a ton of uncertainty, discomfort, and discouragement. It's a season where God seeks to undo the wounds from our past, the bondage Satan had us shackled in, and restore us to the abundance He created us to walk in. But when we don't realize this, when we don't see the wilderness as a necessary process of restoration and redemption, we may give up in our struggle and return to bondage, like the Israelites sought to. I am so excited to share this book with you, which also includes pieces of my testimony. I can't give you a pub date. I'm letting God lead my writing, my timeline, and my pathway to publication. What I can say is, the wilderness is essential. The inner transformation is essential. This week, I pray you make your heart a home for the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit that defeats all other spirits and restore us to the beings that God created us to be.