"She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands." Proverbs 31:13 Welcome to the third month of our becoming journey. In last month's Project 31 post, we learned that trust in the Lord is the essence of a Proverbs 31 woman. We unpacked our trust issues and focused on becoming more trustworthy in our interactions with others. This month, I'm excited to unpack another key trait of the virtuous woman presented in Proverbs 31--she who works willingly, diligently, humbly, and honorably. Proverbs 31 uses the following words to describe the action of the virtuous woman presented: She seeks (v13) She willingly works (v13) She brings (v4) She provides (v15) She considers (v16) She girds herself (v17) She strengthens herself (v17) She perceives (v18) She extends to the poor (v20) She makes and supplies (v24) By reflecting on Proverbs 31 and the example set by Ruth, who Scripture describes as a virtuous woman, we can learn how to approach our work with the same faithful hands and willing heart. Whether you're a woman in the workforce, a woman working to nurture your home and care for those inside it, a woman who works from passion rather than necessity, or a woman doing all three--the same principles apply. Whatever you do, do it honorably, diligently, humbly, and effectively. The Proverbs 31 Woman: Diligent & Wise The woman presented in Proverbs 31 is our example of faithful hands, a willing heart, and wise discernment. She embodies the characteristics of discipline, initiative, stewardship, intentional labor, and wisdom in her work. She reveals how a virtuous woman should approach providing for her family. "She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good...." Proverbs 31:13-18 Proverbs 31 describes a woman who not only willingly works to provide for her family, but is trusted to work to provide for her family. Her husband entrusts her to consider a field and buy it. She is discerning, is allowed to make decisions on behalf of her family, and has access to the funds necessary to make those decisions. While this may seem like a given in today's society, this would be uncommon at the time the Scripture was written--as uncommon as a virtuous wife. "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her..." Proverbs 31:10-11 While society has changed, women's rights have improved, and often it is the husband who is not trusted to make decisions on behalf of the family, we as women should still strive to be as rare as the virtuous women described in Scripture. We should pray for discernment as we make decisions. We should take pride in how we provide for our family--whether that is financial provision or nurturing provision such as cooking, cleaning, and clothing the ones under our care. We should gird ourselves with strength--spiritual and physical so that we can best perform our duties, even if our duty is only to ourself and the Lord. And the work from our hands should yield good fruit. We see in Proverbs 31 that "with her profits she plants a vineyard." A vineyard can be seen as a fruitful investment. It takes time for the grapes to ripen--the fruit to mature--but when it does, it can be harvested. The woman could then use the fruit from the vineyard for the satisfaction of her family, or it could be sold for financial gain. Whether for personal or professional use, she has made a wise investment that bore her family good fruit. The vineyard in Proverbs 31 represents: foresight, stewardship, patience, discipline, cultivation, and long-term fruitfulness These are all characteristics that we can embody today, with the counsel of the Holy Spirit, as we make wise investments on behalf of ourselves and our family that bear good fruit. Examples of Wise Investments & Good Fruit: Investing in Spiritual & Personal Growth A woman who spends time in God's word and in prayer will develop discernment, wisdom, peace, endurance, and spiritual maturity which are fruits themselves that will also equip her to produce good fruit in all areas of her life: in her professional work, in her personal relationships, and in her parenting. Accompanying spiritual growth with personal healing can be the best investment you ever make in yourself. While remaining rooted in Christ, a woman may also seek out counseling, mentorship, repentance, developing emotional maturity, breaking generational cycles, healing childhood wounds, and learning healthy love. This woman becomes the kind of stable, wise, virtuous rock of her family. Investing in Personal Stewardship Outside of our spiritual growth and personal healing, we as virtuous women should invest in our health and home. This may look like resting, nourishing our bodies with nutritious foods, moving and strengthening our bodies, like the Proverbs 31 woman, and caring for our home in a way that promotes warmth, safety, order, rest, and peace. When we do this, we become a more fruitful vessel for self and others. We enjoy the fruit of our discipline with long-life not riddled with health issues and physical pain. And we create an environment that nurtues others as well as ourselves. Investing in Family & Community When we become a virtuous woman, our very presence is the soil in which good fruit grows. We should be present in our relationships, in our friendships, seek out opportunties to mentor others, show hospitality, serve others, and build meaningful community. As we pour wisdom into our community, our community pours back into us. Investing in community allows us to cultivate good fruit in others and receive good fruit in return. If we are called to the role of mother, there is perhaps no greater ground to water with wisdom. As we raise our children to know the Lord and demonstrate the same spiritual wisdom we've cultivated, our children become our greatest fruit. But we must become the wise and virtuous woman first, before becoming the wise and virtuous wife, before becoming the wise and virtuous mother. Investing in Skills & Education To further develop ourselves so that we may serve those around us and provide for our family, we may invest in learning a trade or skill, pursuing education, developing creative gifts, growing a business, or learning wise financial stewardship. Investing in Wise Financial Stewardship Wise financial stewardship may include having a savings plan or investment strategy, hiring a financial advisor or accountant, having a retirement plan, paying off debt, and living within means while also planning for future abundance. As we steward our finances, it is important to not forget the less foruntate. The Proverbs 31 woman not only provides for her family, she also provides well for those she employs, and those who have nothing. "She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy." Proverbs 31:20 Scripture frequently reminds us to have a generous heart, and the Proverbs 31 woman demonstrates this. She is not only concerned with the matters of her family. She has faithful hands and a willing heart to serve everyone around her, including those who cannot return the gesture. Yet, her giving still cultivates good fruit--good fruit inside of her and good fruit around her as she uplifts others. Investing in Work that Serves Others A Proverbs 31 woman not only provides, she brings value--to her family and to those around her. In today's society, there are many jobs a woman of God could choose to take on. We do not all have to be ministers, missionaries, or even faith writers to embody the heart posture of a virtuous woman. A Proverbs 31 woman has a heart that willingly serves others, and we should pray for the Holy Spirit's help in embodying that heart posture in all that we do. As we serve others in our profession, just like in our charitable service and personal relationships, we cultivate good fruit inside and outside of us. Eternal Investments Ultimately, a Proverbs 31 woman invests in things that will outlive her. She invests in people, wisdom, faith, love, service, truth, legacy, and obedience to God. Ruth: An Example of Humility, Honor, & Quiet Faithfulness "And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman." Ruth 3:11 Ruth is recognized by Boaz as a virtuous woman because she: was a faithful friend to Naomi, refusing to abandon her after the death of her husband and two sons worked hard, humbly, and honestly to glean (she did not operate from laziness, entitlement, or flirt with the men watching the fields to provide for her) when Boaz showed her favor, she humbly thanked him and asked why (again, she didn't feel entitled to, but grateful for his help) Ultimately, Ruth gained a reputation of honesty and integrity and was rewarded by Boaz, who stepped up as her kinsman-redeemer, marrying her and offering both her and Naomi security. This story is beautiful on many levels, and it's often used to comfort women who long for marriage but are still waiting on their kindgom spouse. For the sake of this post though, I want the focus to be on Ruth's character not Boaz's redemption. If Ruth did not have the heart and hands of a virtuous woman, operating in faithfulness, humility, honesty, and integrity, the story would've gone very differently. Self-Assessment: Which of the following characteristics do you feel you demonstrate consistently? Which do you struggle with? faithfulness to God and spouse humility honesty integrity wise stewardship patience discipline cultivation of fruit diligence wisdom trustworthiness This month, pray specifically for the Lord's help in cultivating the qualities of a Proverbs 31 woman. No matter what profession or role you have or don't have, every woman works. The Proverbs 31 woman is not defined by her job title, but by the heart and hands she uses to accomplish her tasks. Do all things in love, faithfulness, and trustworthiness.

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11-12 Welcome to the second month of our becoming journey. In the first installment of Project 31, we combatted the lies of the enemy with Biblical truth and reclaimed what it means to be a woman of God by remembering our innate, God-given identity and worth. This month, our focus shifts and we begin to learn what living from our God-given identity actually looks like. One of our greatest roadblocks in our relationship with God is trust. In times of sorrow, we struggle to trust God's goodness and presence. In times of lack, we struggle to trust God's provision. In times of heartache, we struggle to trust God's love. And when others prove themselves untrustworthy, our trust issues can bleed into every other relationship, including our relationship with God. Our circumstances seek to shake our trust in the Lord, and when our trust in the Lord is shaken, so is everything else. We struggle to have hope. We struggle to remain faithful. We turn inward and feel the only option is to become self-reliant, independent, and strong. We turn away from our Father, like the Israelites who struggled to trust God to provide for them and protect them. And that action affects how we show up as a wife, friend, mother, employee, and daughter of the Most High God. Trust in the Lord is the essence of a Proverbs 31 woman. While Proverbs 31 refers to a wife and is used as inspiration for wives, this scripture is inspiration for godly womanhood regardless of marital status. Additionally, we, as the church, are the wife of Christ. There are lessons we can take from Proverbs 31 as we prepare to be joined together with Christ in Heaven. In this installment of Project 31, all women are called to rebuild their trust in the Lord and learn how to be a safe place for others to place their trust. This devotional series is for: women of any age women desiring to strengthen their trust in the Lord women desiring to become the woman God has called them to be unmarried yet preparing (wives in the waiting) women who are currently married divorced women hoping for a second chance mature women looking to reconnect with their purpose as women of God Learning to Trust the Lord When you think back on your childhood, it's easy to see that trust is not innate. It is learned. We learn to trust our caregivers when they consistently meet our needs. We learn to trust their advice when it consistently protects us from harm. This may be something as simple as "Don't touch the stove. It's hot. It'll burn you." Maybe we had to learn that lesson the hard way, but we learned it. And so, when the time comes to receive more detrimental words of wisdom such as "Don't drink and drive." "Don't get into a car with a stranger." We are more likely to receive those warnings, because trust has been built over time. Consistent trustworthy advice not only teaches us the lessons we need to learn, but reveals the teacher as trustworthy. We learn trust through consistent demonstration of trustworthiness. What's obvious in the examples given above is that trust is not something we do, we initiate, or we strive for. It's not a personality trait that some people have and some people don't. Nor is it a personal failure when we don't trust someone, as long as we aren't the person who says, "I don't trust anyone." Not everyone is worthy of our trust. Those who are reveal themselves as trustworthy, safe, loving, as someone who wants to protect us and guide us along the right path. And they do this consistently. God does this consistently. The Consistent Trustworthiness of God God's trustworthiness is revealed throughout scripture through His unchanging character, faithfulness to His word, fulfilled promises, and consistent presence across generations. God is unchanging, even when we disappoint or disobey Him. "For I the Lord do not change; therefore you...are not consumed." Malachi 3:6 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." James 1:17 "God is not human, that He should lie..." Numbers 23:19 Not only does scripture reveal God's character as unchanging and thus trustworthy, we see it first hand in the story of the Israelites. As Moses ascended Mt. Sinai to receive the 10 Commandments, he was gone a total of forty days. In this time, the Israelites--despite God having already proven Himself trustworthy--thought they had been abandoned by Him and thus created for themselves an idol to worship. (Exodus 32) God was angry and called them corrupt and stiffnecked. He wanted to turn away from them and choose a different people to be His. But He remembered His word, His promise, and He was faithful to be their God even when they were not faithful to be His people. God does not turn His back on us when we mess up. God does not abandon us even when we abandon Him. God is faithful to His word and fulfills His promises. "Not one of all the Lord's good promises...failed; every one was fulfilled." Joshua 21:45 "For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud...so shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:10-11 Throughout the Bible, we see God remain faithful to His word and fulfill His promises. The three examples that come to me immediately are when He promised Abraham and Sarah a son from Sarah's womb (despite their age and Sarah's barrenness), when He promised to bring the Israelites into the Promised Land, and when He promised us a Savior. Even in the face of the impossible, God's word is the authority. It is the truth. It is wisdom. And it will not fail. God's word not only promises, it protects. God not only proves Himself trustworthy in action, but in word. He seeks to teach us the ways of righteousness, the way to the abundant life. No matter what our relationships on earth have been like, no matter if we had loving and protective parents or not, God is our loving and protective Father. His word seeks to protect, to guide, and to teach. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For by me your days will be mutlipled, and years of life will be added to you." Proverbs 9:10-11 Knowledge and understanding of the word of God is key to long life. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 (Jesus speaking) Knowledge and understanding of the word of God is key to the abundant life. God's presence is constant, no matter our circumstances or personal failures. "For the Lord is good...His faithfulness continues through all generations." Psalm 100:5 "His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23 "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3 "The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8 "For my father and mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in." Psalm 27:10 Even when our earthly relationships leave us wounded, hurting, and filled with mistrust, the Lord is trustworthy. He is faithful. He is loving. And He never abandons us. These truths should be the foundation we build our life on, the solid foundation we stand on when everything and everyone else around us feels shaky. When a woman of God has unshakable trust in the Lord, she is unstoppable. She is the wife who is a crown on her husband's head (Proverbs 12:4). She brings favor to those around her (Proverbs 18:22). She is rare and precious (Proverbs 31:10). Takeaways: God proves Himself as trustworthy time and time again. It is safe to place your trust in the Lord. We learn how to trust when others demonstrate consistent trustworthiness. When others fail us, God is our demonstration of consistent trustworthiness. As a loving Father, God seeks to teach us the ways of wisdom and righteousness. He seeks to teach us how to have an abundant life, and He seeks to guide us there through His Holy Spirit and His word. But what about when God doesn't feel trustworthy? While scripture reveals God as trustworthy, we can probably look to our own lives to see His trustworthiness and feel His presence. We can look back on that car accident that should've been worse. We can look back on that time of grief that should have consumed us. We can see the moments where divine intervention were at hand, when our loving Father protected us or when He whispered His advice softly. But what about the moments when we can't? What about the times we've felt God was absent? What about the moments when we didn't feel protected, when we didn't feel His goodness, when we felt disappointed? What about the moments when our trust in the Lord was broken? Rebuilding Trust In the Lord As someone who grew up in the church, but chose to step away from it after I graduated high school, I know that our ability to trust God is often influenced by how God is presented. When we aren't taught the love of God, when religion seeks to control, when we're given a picture of a Father who is constantly disappointed in us, waiting to punish us, or is impossible to please--of course, we feel unsafe. Of course, we struggle to trust. But it doesn't stop there. When our perception of God is tainted, so are our expectations of Him. When all we've ever known is the power and authority of God and not the love of God, we may expect Him to act on our behalf in very specific ways. We may expect Him to heal our sick loved one. We may expect Him to bring us out of financial debt. We may expect Him to unite us with our spouse or help us overcome infertility. When we focus on the power of God, we lose sight of the real gift of God, which is His presence. Putting your faith in God doesn't mean you're always going to get what you want. It doesn't mean a life without struggle. Putting your faith in God means even in the struggle, you are strong and stable because He is your strength. Putting your faith in God means you are never alone. Putting your faith in God means you are never without hope, because He can do impossible things. But even when those impossible things don't happen--divine healing, divine intervention--He is still good. He is still worthy of your praise and trust. He is still your loving Father. This perspective shift has been a long, hard-fought battle for me personally. After losing my dad to cancer, I felt let down by God. Then again, I'm not sure I ever expected Him to heal my dad. Throughout the 18 month battle, we would pray for healing, but I would often say: "He can, but will He?" I doubted God's goodness, not His power. The only part of me that believed He would is because I knew the kind of man my dad was. My dad was a God-fearing man who studied His Bible more than anyone I knew. He was an honorable man who never did drugs or drank. Aside from his cancer diagnosis, he was otherwise healthy. If anyone should survive this, it should've been him. If anyone deserved divine healing, it was him. But God chose to take him. In the years that followed, I could see God's hand in the situation. I could see the ways He was with me and my family, making sure we were okay. Even though He didn't save our rock, He became our rock. God's presence continued to follow me as I went through a divorce, years of hopelessness, searching for a true spouse--not the counterfeit I had--and continues today as I embrace my singleness and new struggles. His presence has never left me and somewhere in the midst of His presence, I learned who He really is. I let go of the false perception and I finally felt His love. I finally surrendered. And, just in time, as another tragic cancer diagnosis has struck my family. This is one I would not survive without God's presence. While we often look for the power, there is power in His presence. He is with us on our darkest days, and that means even on the darkest day there is light. Task: If you are struggling to place your trust in the Lord, I encourage you to look back and write down every time you've felt His presence. Search your memories. Can you find Him where you once felt He was absent? Write down the moments when you felt let down by God. Why did you feel that way? Was it God's character that disappointed you or your expectations of Him? Did you feel abandoned because you didn't get what you wanted? How is your perspective shifting as you learn that you are never abandoned by God? Like the spouse presented in Proverbs 31, He does us good all the days of our life. But His presence and His goodness don't always manifest exactly as we think it should. And we have to learn to be okay with that. We have to learn to trust Him in the darkness. Now our God is all-powerful. It is okay to expect the impossible of the Lord. The shift here doesn't come from limiting your expectations of Him, but in choosing to still love Him and learning to still feel loved by Him when your expectations aren't met. Rebuilding Inner Safety & Learning to Trust Yourself Bringing it back to Proverbs 31, perhaps you read the verses and admire the woman presented but don't feel she is attainable. You don't trust yourself to be her. You don't see yourself as virtuous. You may evaluate your past and question your trustworthiness. Or perhaps you're filtering your character through your relationships, but not every relationship brings out the best in us. In this moment, I want you to detach who you've been from who you are and I want you to detach who you are from the version of you that your current relationships draw out. Withdraw to the wilderness and let God reintroduce you to yourself. "Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her." Hosea 2:14 Have you ever heard the phrase patience is a virtue? A virtue, by definition, is a high moral standard. To be virtuous means to have or show high moral standard. You may think of a virtue as a fruit of the Spirit. These fruits, virtues, qualities, signs of rightouesness are not cultivated or grown by us. They are grown and cultivated by the Holy Spirit. It is a process we submit to, not a process we lead. The process of becoming a Proverbs 31 woman, a virtuous woman, the woman God has called you to be is exactly the same. We don't strive. We surrender and submit to the work the Lord wants to do in us, the fruit He seeks to cultivate in us. Learning to trust yourself is not about you, for God is within you. "God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day." Psalm 46:5 Learning to trust yourself comes from trusting the God within you, recognizing He is there, and understanding that He is guiding you and trusting His guidance. You don't rebuild trust in yourself by looking inward--you rebuild it by anchoring upward. Trusting yourself grows as you learn to recognize the voice of the Holy Spirit. I believe God communicates with us in different ways. How He communicates with me may not be how He communicates with you. For me, I often hear phrases in my head during times of prayer or journaling. I hear Him when I'm seeking Him. But I take the word back to Him for confirmation, because He is not the only one who whispers. One thing to note is, the voice of the Holy Spirit will not contradict the word of God. So, if something you hear doesn't align with scripture, it is not from God. Knowing the word of God enables you to more easily discern His voice. We were never meant to navigate this life alone or place our trust in ourselves. We were given a Helper in the Holy Spirit and He continues the process of sanctifying us after we've been saved. By the power of God's Holy Spirit, we demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit--the character of God. Through the Holy Spirit, we become trustworthy. Demonstrating Trustworthiness Just as the voice of the Holy Spirit will not contradict the word of God, a woman of God does not contradict the word of God. She places her trust in it and she lives her life according to it. A trustworthy woman exemplifies the example of trustworthiness God gives us in Himself through His word. A trustworthy woman... Anchors herself in the word of God Submits herself to the process of sanctification by the Holy Spirit Is consistent (unchanging, steady, reliable) Is honest and aligned with truth Is faithful and keeps her word (follows through, honors commitments, does what she said she'll do) Is self-controlled (does not react impulsively, is not ruled by feelings but grounded in truth, responds with wisdom) Is wise and discerning (seeks God's will, makes thoughtful decisions, God is the source of her wisdom) Is a safe refuge for those around her (does not create chaos in relationships, does not weaponize vulnerability, is a place of peace not unpredictability) Is humble and teachable (does not operate from pride) Bears the fruit of the Spirit because her heart is surrendered to the Holy Spirit A trustworthy woman is not self-made or self-taught. She is God-formed. Trust grows where consistency lives. Just as God is unchanging, a trustworthy woman becomes someone others can rely on--not because she is perfect, but because she is steady. A trustworthy woman does not bend truth to protect herself or harm others. She aligns with it because she is anchored in a God who never lies, a God who wishes her only good. Faithfulness is not convenience--it is a commitment. A trustworthy woman reflects a God who never breaks His word. Like God, she is faithful to her word and honors her commitments. A trustworthy woman is led by the Spirit. Her trustworthiness is not rooted in always knowing what to do, but in knowing where to go for wisdom. Just as God is a refuge for His people, a trustworthy woman becomes a place where others feel safe--not because she is perfect, but because she is anchored. Trustworthiness is not a performance or a skill--it is a fruit. "By their fruit you will recognize them..." Matthew 7:16 By her fruit, you will recognize her. Her husband will recognize her--both her earthly husband and her eternal husband, Christ Jesus. Monthly Intention: This month, I will rebuild or strengthen my trust in the Lord. I will submit to Him, and seek His help in becoming a trustworthy woman. Dig Deeper Journal Prompts: Where in my life am I most struggling to trust myself? Where in my life am I most struggling to trust the Lord? What thoughts or patterns do I demonstrate that might not align with God's word? When I feel anxious or uncertain, do I tend to react quickly or seek God first? What fruit is currently evident in my life--and what might that reveal about where I'm rooted and where I'm not? What past experience or choice do I need to forgive myself for and seek God's forgiveness for? How do I currently demonstrate trustworthiness? Are there instances in which I am untrustworthy? Is this pattern part of my overall character or attached to a specific relationship? How have my past experiences affected my ability to trust? Can I surrender my wound to God and let Him heal me? Has my perception of who God is hindered my ability to trust Him? How does it feel to know you don't have to do this alone? God is with you and He is leading you through your journey of becoming. Task: The purpose of this study is intentional becoming, so I ask you to choose four of the journal prompts listed above and reflect on one per week for the next month as part of your study. If you'd like, you can post your responses in the comments of this post. I pray this month's devotional on trust has inspired you and helped you, and I look forward to next month as we continue this journey together.

"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10 There are many narratives that circulate in Christian circles, in modern media, amongst regional groups and beyond about womanhood, femininity, and what it means to be a wife. But there is no greater narrative to buy into than the truth and God's word is the truth. In this first installment of Project 31, we will combat the lies of the enemy and reclaim what it means to be a woman of God by remembering our innate, God-given identity and worth. While Proverbs 31 refers to a wife and is used as inspiration for wives, this scripture is inspiration for godly living regardless of marital status. This devotional series is for: women of any age women desiring to strengthen their identity in Christ women desiring to become the woman God has called them to be unmarried yet preparing (wives in the waiting) women who are currently married divorced women hoping for a second chance widowed women looking to reconnect with themselves and God While many teachers focus on specific groups--singles, married people, etc.--my hope is to be inclusive, because there is meaning to be found on every page of the Bible for every season. Proverbs 31 is not just for those hoping for marriage or those who are married. Proverbs 31 is for any woman seeking to become a virtuous woman. And so, let's get started on this year-long journey of becoming the women God has called us to be. Regardless of man, we know we are the church and the church is the wife of Christ. Innate Identity & Worth From the beginning, the enemy's strategy has always been the same--to distort what God says. In the garden, the serpent attacked truth and planted doubt. He asked a question that made Eve doubt God's word. "Did God really say...?" Genesis 3:1 That same whisper echoes today, leaving many of us carrying the weight of a false identity shaped by shame, comparison, rejection, or culture. The Proverbs 31 woman is not a standard we must earn. It's not a badge that comes with a ring and a marriage certificate. She is a portrait of what a woman looks like when she lives from her God-given identity. The first step in becoming the woman God has called you to be is remembering who He says you already are. Our transformation begins not with striving, not with effort, not with checking things off a list. Rather, it begins with a deep breath and letting God's words about identity and worth sink deep into our souls. We Are Created With Purpose & Value "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27 Often times, women are seen as afterthoughts in the creation story, but we know that God is meticulous and purposeful. He did not forget about women when creating man nor did He create us to find our identity in our husband. Throughout scripture we see feminine metaphors used to describe God and Jesus. We reflect parts of the Father that our male counterparts cannot. While the most notable is our ability to create life, birthing children is not the only way we reflect God's feminine qualities. We reflect His emotions, empathy, compassion, nurturing qualities, wisdom, and discernment more so than men. And while many use Genesis 2:18 to belittle women and associate our value and purpose with how we serve men, there is nothing shameful or subservient about being a helper. Scripture frequently calls God a helper, portraying Him as a rescuer, protector, and shield. And finally, Jesus refers to the Holy Spirit as our helper sent to teach us more than His time allowed. Our ability to help is not limited to our husband or romantic counterpart. And how great a value is a helper? How strong of a purpose? We Are Fearfully & Wonderfully Made "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:13-14 We Are Children of God "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are." 1 John 3:1 Scripture says we are adopted by God, chosen to be His family. For anyone who has experience with adoption, fostering, or even co-parenting your step-children, your heart understands the love behind God's choice to choose us and call us His. He chooses us and loves us not because we're perfect children, but because He is that good. He chooses us on our worst day. We Are God's Masterpiece "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10 This is a scripture that personally speaks to me as God continues to reveal the calling on my life. How amazing of an honor is it that God has trusted each of us with good deeds to complete? No matter what your job title or relationship status is, you have tasks the Lord has trusted you with. You have purpose and value. We Are Chosen "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession." 1 Peter 2:9 We Are Not Alone "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth." John 14:16-17 We Are Protected "He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler." Psalm 91:4 The truth of who we are and what we mean to God is our shield against the false identities Satan wants us to embrace. We Are Pursued “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?" Luke 15:4 Throughout scripture we see God's constant pursuit of humanity. He walked in the garden with Adam. After sin entered the world, He continued to manifest His presence in different ways--the burning bush, the fire and the cloud, etc. He sent His Son to dwell among us and ultimately, restore covenant between us. And He sent our Helper, the Holy Spirit, to serve as a direct connection between us and Him so that He can continue to speak to us and guide us in truth and wisdom even after He no longer walked among us in the flesh. How loved are we that we are pursued by the Almighty God? We Are Provided For "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19 We Are Seen & Given Dominion "What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels, And You have crowned him with glory and honor. You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet..." Psalm 8:4-6 The New Testament expands our authority in Christ by giving us power over demons and evil spirits and the ability to heal the sick by the power of the Holy Spirit. It also expands our purpose by tasking us with leading others to Christ. But even before Jesus Christ and the gospel, man was given power and dominion over God's creation. How highly must God view us to place His work in our hands to steward? We Are Not Condemned "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit." Romans 8:1 God never created us to be perfect. He created us to be His. He created us to have relationship with Him, to be His family, to be His helpers, to be His children, to be His vessels, to be the receivers of His love and goodness. And when Satan tried to steal us from Him, God brought us back home to Him by creating a path to redemption through the blood of Jesus Christ. God Rejoices Over Us "The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17 God Is Patient & Merciful Towards Us "Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23 We Are Loved "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 I could keep going and we'd spend the rest of our lives discovering God's unending, long-suffering love for us. And you know what, maybe that is the point of life? But for the sake of this post, the truth we must rest in is everything that God says we are, and everything He does for us, stems from His love for us. The essence of God's identity is love. Created in His image--yes, even us women--the essence of our God-given identity is love. We were created to receive love from God and others and reflect God's love towards others and ourselves. And what great worth is that that we are tasked with being God's vessel, God's mirror, His reflection in this broken world? This is why Satan does everything in his power to strip us of love--love for God, love for others, and even love for ourselves. A woman who reflects God's heart, His light, and His mercy--a Proverbs 31 woman--is a woman who walks in love. A reading from 1 Corinthians 13: If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13 speaks of love as one of three everlasting things that remain when everything else is stripped away. Words without love are meaningless. Faith without love is powerless. Work without love is fruitless. Love is our essence, and our essence is anchored in God regardless of our failures or short-comings. One of the greatest lies Satan tries to make us believe is that God no longer loves us, or perhaps that He never did. When we feel unloved or abandoned by God, we lose sight of our identity as God's child and chosen vessel, as an heir to the kingdom of Heaven. We lose sight of our worth. And when we are not filled by God's love, we cannot step into our purpose to reveal His love to others. Nor can we embody the characteristics of a virtuous woman as the greatest virtue is love. Today, I ask you to remember this truth. You are loved. God's love for you is patient, kind, compassionate, selfless, sacrificial, protective, trustworthy, long-suffering. God's love for you never fails. God's love for you outlasts every sin, every temptation, every short-coming, every tantrum, every tear. God's love birthed the universe and everything and everyone in it. His love is limitless. Remembering His love for you is key to reclaiming your innate identity and worth as a woman of God. The Bondage of Needing to Be Chosen I can personally attest to how Satan's distortion of identity--who God is and who He says I am--has led me to make choices that do not reflect my value as a child of God. I spent many years seeking love and validation from unreliable sources. I felt unseen, unloved, and disgarded because of an unmet longing for relationship. So, when romantic interest presented, I jumped rather than discerned. When we do not understand that we are already loved and chosen--when we do not feel God's love for us--we cannot rest in our identity or worth as His. We seek others to tell us how much we're worth and we seek to prove ourselves to men by whatever means necessary. We are held in bondage by our need to be chosen, but God says, we already are. The Proverbs 31 woman is a wise woman, and wisdom comes from resting in God's truth. That truth includes the truth of who we are to Him and what value we have here on earth. The Misunderstood Woman of Proverbs 31 Proverbs 31 presents a woman or wife almost as a checklist. This is not so different from how the fruit of the spirit is presented in Galatians 5. She... does her husband good works with her hands rises early to ensure meals are prepared and her household is tended to is a prudent businesswoman is strong (spiritually and physically) is generous ensures her family is clothed represents her husband well speaks with wisdom and kindness is not idle raises her children well fears the Lord But just as we cannot strive to embody the fruit of the spirit by our own strength and effort, we cannot strive to become a Proverbs 31 woman without the Holy Spirit. "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it..." Psalm 127:1 We must surrender to the Holy Spirit and be filled with God's Spirit of Love in order to embody the characteristics of a virtuous woman. Everything she does, she does out of love not obligation. Her love for her husband and children is a reflection of God's love for all mankind. He loves because He is love, not because He is obligated. Intentional Becoming "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10 Did you know that rubies are the most expensive gemstone, more than diamonds? God says a virtuous woman is worth more than the most expensive treasure. He is waiting for His greatest treasure. He is waiting for His virtuous wife. "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband..." Proverbs 12:4 The Lord is waiting for His crown. This journey of becoming is about allowing Him to refine us into the treasure He created us to be. It is about becoming the wife of Christ who has been cleansed with the washing of His word and is made holy and blameless in His sight. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." Ephesians 5:25-27 Call to Action: This month, as we begin our journey of becoming, I ask you to invite God into your heart, your healing, and your process. Even if you already have, intentionally pray to Him yet again to ask Him to fill you with His Spirit, heal you from the inside out, and refine you into the woman He has called you to be. Becoming her is not something we do, but something He does inside us. Our surrender to God and sanctification through His Holy Spirit is a daily process. In my own journey, I've had to re-surrender many times and I will do it again as I embark on this journey with you. Monthly Intention: To rest in the love of God and reclaim my identity as His beloved daughter. Dig Deeper Journal Prompts: A woman who does not believe she is loved by God will struggle to rest in her identity. She will strive for worth rather than live from it. In what ways have you been striving for worth? In what ways have you been striving for love? When you think about God’s love for you, what emotions rise up—peace, doubt, resistance, gratitude? What lies about your identity or worth have you believed about yourself as a woman? If you truly believed your worth was “far above rubies,” how might your thoughts about yourself change? Are there areas of your life where you struggle to believe God loves you fully? What would change in your daily life if you truly believed God delights in you? When we struggle to feel loved, how does that impact the way we treat others? How might resting in God’s love change the way you show love to people in your life? Who in your life might need to experience God’s love through you this month? Task: The purpose of this study is intentional becoming, so I ask you to choose four of the journal prompts listed above and reflect on one per week for the next month as part of your study. If you'd like, you can post your responses in the comments of this post. A Letter to Sisters In Specific Seasons In the introduction, I expressed how this study can benefit many different groups of women. When you view the wife presented in Proverbs 31 as not just a man's counterpart but the wife God hopes to present to Himself, the scripture takes on a new meaning and does apply to us all. But right now, I want to write a few words to sisters in specific seasons. To the happily single: Proverbs 31 presents a woman who loves and cares for the people around her. She is a trustworthy confidant. She does good deeds. She works to maintain her independence and be able to give generously. The concept of care and provision shows up in the scripture as cooking and sowing, but you don't have to be a good cook or seamstress to be a Proverbs 31 woman. This is just imagery to reflect the heart of a woman who is wise, thoughtful, resourceful, kind, and caring. And you can be all of these things without ever marrying a man. You can be all of these things as a divorcee or widow. The title of wife does not make a virtuous woman, but a virtuous woman makes a valuable, precious wife--even if only the wife of Christ. To the wives in the waiting: I write this not just to those engaged but those who hope to be. I consider myself a wife in the waiting. When you desire marriage, you cannot help but take on a slightly more focused lens when reading scripture, especially a scripture like Proverbs 31. We begin to imagine what these qualities look like in action. Many women may read Proverbs 31 and think the key to being a good wife is waking up early and making breakfast for her husband, sending Him to work with a lunchbox straight from the Crockpot, and spending her day busy tending to the needs of others. This type of application leads to burnout. And the truth is, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to marriage. God is preparing a specific marriage for you and your marriage will require specific things of you. The key to being the best wife you can is love. Do all things out of love, not obligation. And that is where being filled by God's love comes in. We cannot give what we do not have. So, be filled first before you pour out, lest you risk emptiness. Just as God will replenish your wells of love, so too should your husband. Choose a man who is willing to love and serve as equally, if not greater, than you. To the currently married: How beautiful is it that you have the blessing of marriage, the title of wife, and you are seeking to steward it well? I do not have many additional words for you, because I believe the majority of this post speaks to your season. Love over obligation. In my early twenties, I was briefly married. It was not a godly marriage. We both self-described as Christians but neither of us were seeking the Lord. Speaking for myself, this is because I had a false understanding of who God was. I write about that a lot in my other blog posts. Because I did not know God or feel His love for me, I was not equipped to love my husband the way a wife should and yet, I held myself to Biblical standard. I held myself to a standard I could never meet on my own. God is the one who teaches us how to love. God is the one who empowers us to love and serve. If there is an area where you find it hard to love your husband or serve him or submit to him, bring that area to God and ask for the equipping to be the wife He has called you to be. And yes, discuss it with your husband too. Marriage takes two people to steward well. It's not all on you, but it can start with you. Closing I hope you enjoyed this first installment of Project 31. I know I did, and I'm excited to sit down and reflect even deeper on how I can embrace my identity and reflect God's love more intentionally this month. Next month, we'll tackle a new theme rooted in Proverbs 31--trust and vulnerability. Ooof, as a woman who has struggled with trust, I can only imagine the message that is forthcoming.

We all have those habits that leave us with questions. Is this really wrong? Is this is a sin? When the Bible doesn't directly address a particularly thing, it can be hard to understand where to draw the line. I've been struggling with this in a particular area for a very long time. Today, I'm not feeling so bold, so I won't share the exact area I struggle. What I will share is the peace that met me in my confusion. Last night, I wrote in my journal to God: Lord, I'm struggling with this and I really don't understand if it's wrong or not. I know this habit is rooted in a God-given desire. I know this habit is not evil. I couldn't even describe it as immoral if I wanted to. The guilt and shame that I feel surrounding this habit doesn't come from the act itself. It comes from not knowing if You permit it or not. I was wrestling with what is permissible, because I knew it wasn't God's perfect will. That much was certain. I knew that this habit was a coping mechanism for the season of life I'm in. We see the example of God's permissible will versus His perfect will in the instance of divorce. God does not like divorce--ever--but He permits it in cases of adultery, because He understands that is a broken covenant. He Himself sets the example of separation when covenant is broken. So, God, is my habit a permissible coping mechanism or is it an outright sin I am trying to justify? Then two things came to me. Your lack of peace should be answer enough. Don't worry about if it's wrong or not. Consider if it's helpful. Even when the Bible doesn't directly address the thing you're struggling with, you can still find your answer within the text. "For God is not a God of confusion but of peace." 1 Corinthians 14:33 If you keep wrestling with something, asking God if it's okay or not, the wrestling is proof you don't have peace about it. A lack of peace is the answer even when you can't find the exact words you're looking for. Furthermore, when we understand that God's commandments and principles for character and conduct are to help us, protect us--not to condemn us--then we can assess our habits through that lens. Is this helping me or hurting me? Is the help greater than the hurt? Will continuing this habit potentially jeopardize my future? For example, God permits the consumption of alcohol, but condemns drunkenness. But for the person who has struggled with addiction, even one drink may be unhelpful to them and jeopardize their sobriety. What is permissible isn't always helpful. I think, often times, when we talk about sin or things that may be sinful, we are searching for condemnation. But God doesn't seek to condemn us. He seeks to heal us. He seeks to free us from everything that controls us or hurts us. This perspective made me stop asking "Is this wrong," and I started considering my future instead. If I continue this, could this be dangerous in the future? Could this become an undeniable sin? Could this make abstaining from sex while dating harder? Does this habit open the door for continued guilt and shame in dating and even marriage? When I'm married, would I still think this is permissible? How would it make my spouse feel? How would I feel if my spouse also had this habit? Is developing discipline in this area more helpful for my future than continuing to use this coping mechanism now? In those questions, I found my answer. That doesn't make it easy to accept. But it was an answer that brought peace to the confusion and that's how I know it's the one I need to accept. Now comes the hardest part, figuring out a new coping mechanism for the desire that isn't going to go away. And right now, the only answer I have is prayer. I hope I can bring the hurt to God rather than numbing it, because no matter what season you're in or what your current struggle is--self control is always helpful.

The book of Joshua concludes the Israelite's journey through the wilderness to the conquering of the Promised Land to finally resting in the inheritance that the Lord promised them. In this post, I'm going to speak on three major components of the book: the foreshadowing of Jesus, the promises of God, and the parallelism between how the journey began and how it ends. Finally, we'll look at what this means for us today. The Foreshadowing of Jesus Christ In Joshua 5, we see the men of Israel prepare for their first battle at Jericho. "And it came to pass, when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, a Man stood opposite him with His sword drawn in His hand. And Joshua went to Him and said to Him, "Are You for us or for our adversaries?" So He said, "No, but as Commander of the army of the Lord I have come. And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshipped..." Joshua 5:13-14 We know this was pre-incarnate Jesus Christ because (1) the text capitalizes His pronouns in the same way it references God, (2) Jesus Christ is God's manifestation as man, (3) we know that Jesus is Commander of the army of the Lord per Matthew 26:53, and (4) an angel or messenger of the Lord would not allow themselves to be worshipped. God appeared to Joshua as a Man--the Commander of the Lord's army who would lead them into the Promised Land--just as Jesus Christ Himself leads all of mankind into the eternal Promised Land. But the foreshadowing does not end here. Seeing God depicted as a Man with his sword drawn, as leader of the Lord's army, as protector of God's people, foreshadows the second coming of Christ when He will return as our Warrior King. We see here that Jesus has always been a part of the story. He has always been our defender. The Promises of God In Joshua 21, we see the Israelites finally receive their inheritance, but it wasn't just the land that was promised to them. "The Lord gave them rest all around, according to all that He had sworn to their fathers. And not a man of all their enemies stood against them; the Lord delivered all their enemies into their hand. Not a word failed of any good thing which the Lord had spoken to the house of Israel. All came to pass." Joshua 21:44-45 The Lord promised presence, inheritance, victory, and rest. Those promises still stand today. Presence: The Lord promises He is with us. He will not forsake us. Inheritance: He has promised us eternal life with Him in heaven. Victory: He has promised victory over the grave. Rest: He has promised rest in Him now and in heaven. The story of the Israelites is a mirror of every Christians' journey. We all have our Egypt, our bondage, our doubting days, our wilderness where God reveals Himself to us and teaches us to trust Him. We all have an inheritance in Him, and there is a spiritual war we must endure in order to receive it. But, like the Israelites, if we hold fast to the Lord, if we love Him, if we walk in all His ways, if we follow His commandments, we will prevail. We will have victory and rest. "But take careful heed to do the commandment and the law which Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to keep His commandments, to hold fast to Him, and to serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul." Joshua 22:5 Note: Jesus died to save us from the curse of the Law, because no one is capable of walking in righteousness without The Righteous One. We are not capable of being holy. And yet, Jesus did not abolish the Law. He still references God's word (the Law of Moses) in His teachings. He reminds us that not a single word of God will fail. So, while we are free from the penalty of sin, which is death, we are still called to reference His word and walk in His ways. How The Story Ended The story of the Israelites ends with a warning to not return to the world. "Or else, if indeed you do go back, and cling to the remnant of these nations--these that remain among you--and make marriages with them, and go in to them and they to you, know for certain that the Lord your God will no longer drive out these nations from before you. But they shall be snares and traps to you, and scourges on your sides and thorns in your eyes, until you perish..." Joshua 23:12-13 God had saved the Israelites from bondage. He had revealed Himself to them over time. He had preserved them in battle and followed through on every promise He made to them. No longer did they have an excuse to not trust God. No longer could they claim ignorance as to His commands. At this point, a choice to turn against Him would be deliberate and it would no longer be forgiven. "He is a jealous God; He will not forgive your transgressions nor your sins. If you forsake the Lord and serve foreign gods, then He will turn and do you harm and consume you, after He has done you good." Joshua 24:19-20 While we live in the age of grace, a post-crucifixtion world where each day brings new mercy, there still will come a time when our earthly journey will end. And when there are no more days to make a different choice, we will be judged based on the choice we made when we had the chance to choose to follow Him or conform to the world. This portion of Joshua reminds us that just as God is faithful in keeping His promises, He is also faithful in judgment against sin. It reminds us there is a difference between sin prior to knowing God and sin after knowing God. Before you know Him, His commandments, and His love, you may have a subconscious feeling that something you're doing isn't right. That's the Holy Spirit trying to reach you. But when you know something is not right and you still choose to do it anyway, you are turning your back on God. Sin becomes a deliberate choice and when you make that choice it carries a different kind of weight, guilt, and consequence. Still, the Lord--because of His love for us--forgives if we repent. What is repentance? It's not just, "I'm sorry." That's called acknowledgment or confession. Repentance is choosing to follow Him once again. Choosing to keep His commandments. Choosing to walk in righteousness via the power of the Holy Spirit, because it is His power that equips us to do so. This story--the Israelites and ours--begins and ends with a choice. The story began with God choosing to make us His people. He chose to be faithful to us, to be our God, to lead us out of bondage, to protect us from our enemies, to give us victory in every battle, to give us an inheritance with Him, and eternal rest. The story ends with our choice to accept Him, His gift, His sacrifice, His love, to follow Him, love Him, and serve Him. As Joshua said, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

Today, I'm bringing you a word from the book of Joshua. For context, Joshua is the first book in the Old Testatment following The Torah, which is the Law of the Lord. The book of Joshua follows Joshua and the Israelites as they finally enter the Promised Land. While I'm still reading it, I feel this post is worth writing now. In Joshua 7, we see a family of the tribe of Judah go against the word of the Lord when they take a portion of the Lord's bounty from the conquering of Jericho. Jericho was the first city conquered by the Israelites after they crossed the Jordan river. As such, it served as a sort of firstfruits. All the bounty collected in the siege was to be dedicated to the Lord. It was not theirs to keep. Doing so would bring a curse on Israel/ the family whole stole from the Lord. It became obvious the Lord's favor had been removed from Israel when they were defeated in a battle they otherwise would've won. When Joshua sought the Lord to understand why this had happened, the Lord revealed to Joshua the transgression and tasked him with finding the thief. So, he does. Achan confesses in Joshua 7:20-21: "Indeed I have sinned against the Lord God of Israel...When I saw among the spoils a beautiful Babylonian garment, two hundred shekels of silver, and a wedge of gold weighing fifty shekels, I coveted them and took them." Per the word of the Lord, the justice for this crime was death. And so, Achan and his family were killed. Israel renewed their covenant with the Lord and favor in battle was restored to them. But the story of Achan is bigger than the choice of one man. It's part of a pattern. We see this pattern of fall throughout the Bible. Satan tried to take God's kingdom (still is) and he fell. Eve took the forbidden fruit, leading to the fall of mankind. Achan took the spoils of battle that were not his to claim and it led to his death and destruction. David took another man's wife and it led to broken fellowship with the Lord. Every fall begins with taking something or someone that doesn't belong to you. This resonated with me so much, because I write a lot about struggles in surrender and struggles in the waiting season. When it comes to fully surrendering to the Lord, the idea is you give everything to Him. You give your time, your skills, your body, your present and your future. You seek His will in every area. You relinquish your control over your own life, trusting in His leadership. And this is not easy. Even when we know it's worth it, it is not easy to let the Lord lead. Because, often times, letting the Lord lead involves a lot of waiting. It is a test of patience, of faith, and even discernment when the lines between our will and His are blurred. In business, my surrender looks like waiting to commit to a book until there is peace. I have tons of ideas for fictional stories and even several ideas for more Christian non-fiction works. It would be impossible for me to pursue them all. So, I wait for what feels right in the given moment. Sometimes that means not writing anything at all. Sometimes that means holding onto a concept or title until the Lord gives me the inspiration that expands it. I'm holding onto a lot right now, knowing that one day, those books will be written. When it comes to dating, I approach it similarly. There are plenty of men/ possibilities out there. If I cast my net, I could probably catch a fish and end the season of longing. But would it be my fish? Would it be the man God has chosen for me and is preparing for me? Would it be the right timing? Would I be the version of myself God wants to unite with a specific man? While it's not clear whether the concept of the one is Biblical, based on what I know about God, I do believe God is specific in His design and planning for our individual lives. And that includes who we marry. This belief first came to me when I saw how meticulous the Lord was in designing the first tabernacle. Many of the Old Testatment books are full of tedious instructions. How much more meticulous will our God be in the building of our lives? My surrender in dating looks like praying about connections when approached and only choosing to move toward someone I feel has the qualities I’m looking for in a husband. In both situations, I hold the connection with an open palm. When my heart wants to cling and hope, I give them back to the Lord and see if He lets them stay. I trust that the Lord will reveal the truth over time. He will either join hands or He won't, but until He joins those hands that person is not mine. They belong to the Lord. I belong to the Lord. To work outside of His will would be to take what does not yet, if ever belong to me. Scripture reveals that all things and all people belong to the Lord. "The earth is the Lord's and the fullness therof, the world and those who dwell therein." Psalm 24:1 "Behold, all souls are mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is mine." Ezekiel 18:4 "For by him all things were created...all things were created through him and for him." Colossians 1:16-17 We have seen today through the book of Joshua that taking what is not ours leads to our destruction. So, Lord, I ask that You protect our hearts against envy and covetousness. Give us patience and strength to endure the waiting for what You seek to give us. For what You give is good and is incomparable. What You give is a blessing. Your Word reveals that what we take without Your permission is a curse. Lord, protect us from all curses. Bless us according to Your word. Give us the discernment to know what is ours, who is ours. All these things I ask for myself and my readers, in Jesus' name, Amen. A final note... The waiting becomes harder when you think you're waiting for nothing, but even in the story of Achan we see that if he had waited, the Lord permitted the Israelites to take the spoil from the next conquered city and the one after and the one after. The Lord requires His firstfruits, but He does not seek to leave us impoverished, depleted, or full of longing. He seeks to fill us, give to us, and love us.

Good morning reader and welcome to August! For me, August symbolizes a transition. It's a month of change--back to school, back to work (if you're a teacher), the end of summer vacation, the reintroduction of routine. If you're a fall girl like me, it's basically honorary autumn. You begin transitioning your home decor, anticipating the Starbucks fall drinks, and maybe even begin planning your Friendsgiving menu and Christmas shopping lists. Only me? Okay. The thing about transitions is that what feels like the re-establishment of order can actually disrupt the norm. We must be rooted in seasons of transition and in seasons when it feels like nothing is changing. We must be rooted in His word. A few Sunday's ago, my pastor said, whatever you're standing in hope for make sure that hope is rooted in scripture. God's word is His promise to us--His promise of who He is, how He sees us, and what He'll do in our lives and in our world. So, I thought to myself, what scriptures do I come back to when the hopelessness sets in? What scriptures do I come back to when the devil starts whispering "you'll never..." "He'll never..." "it'll never..." And how would I feel if I held onto those scriptures a little tighter rather than crawling my way back to them after the latest spiral? I decided to write down at least one verse or reference one story in the Bible for every fear or doubt the enemy tries to hurt me with. Today, I'll share them with you and encourage you to do the same. Scriptures of Hope When I feel like I'm running out of time to have children, I remember the story of Abraham and Sarah. "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" Genesis 18:14. God's promises aren't limited by time or our physical vessel. God brings dead things back to life. God makes the impossible possible. When I feel like God doesn't care about my prayers, I remember the story of Hannah. God hears our prayers even when He is silent and it feels like He doesn't care. When I feel like God's goodness doesn't apply to me, I remember He is the giver of good gifts. "No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11 "Every good and perfect gift is from above..." James 1:17 When I feel like wanting to get married is a bad thing, I remember God created marriage and said it was not good for man to be alone. "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18 When I feel like God is withholding from me to punish me, I remember the sacrifice of His Son. "If He did not spare His own Son, will He not graciously give us all things we truly need?" Romans 8:32 When I feel like God only cares about my needs and not my desires, I remember He delights in taking care of me--not just in providing for my needs, but in meeting the desires of my heart. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him; and He will act." Psalm 37:4-5"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened...If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:7-11 Stand on scripture and your hope will not be shaken. Going back to Abraham and Sarah, it is said that Abraham hoped against hope. Our pastor explained that hope is the same as expectation. That isn't how hope feels, is it? Usually, when we say we hope something will happen, it's a longing we desire to be met but aren't sure if it actually will. It would be a surprise, unexpected, or an answered prayer if we received what we'd been hoping for. Hope feels like a fragile word, but when we put our hope in the Lord, it becomes firm. Abraham's reality told him you'll never be a father. You're old. You're past your prime. Your wife's womb has been shut up and likely, His part wasn't working too well either. Reality told him to expect to die without an heir. But God stepped in and said trust me. So, Abraham trusted that what the Lord said would come to pass despite what His reality, His body told him to expect. He hoped against hopelessness. Our reality is always writing a story, and it's hard to hope against what we see and feel. I fall short again and again. But to complete this exercise, I decided to use my scriptures of hope to write a new narrative. If I live my life according to hope in the Lord and not the expectations my circumstances are creating, then, I would say: It doesn't matter how much time passes or the limitations of my physical body. If I'm meant to bear children, I will. God withholds no good thing from me. A spouse is a good thing--God says so--therefore I believe I will be married in God's timing. God cares about the desire of my heart and He gives us that which we ask for. I will keep praying for my future marriage and that God will transform me into the wife who is a blessing and can hold the blessing He seeks to bestow on me. God does not give an imperfect gift. The marriage I'm waiting for will be good. It is worth the wait, and if it never comes, it wouldn't have been good. What are you standing in hope for? Which scriptures serve as the foundation for your hope? Write a new narrative rooted in His word, His character, and His love for you that contradicts the one reality is trying to write. May God bless you on your way. 🤎

Hi lovelies! It's been a minute since I've written fiction. And once you read this first chapter of my newest project, you might begin to understand why. Writing happily ever afters isn't the easiest when you're longing for one of your own. What once was used as an escape becomes the thing you need to escape. It's been nearly a year since I wrote a novel. But now, like Juliet, I'm eager to begin again, to start a new chapter as a writer. The Letters of Love series will be a series of standalone romances set in goregous destinations that I've traveled to. My recent trip to Paris, France and stay at the 126-year-old Hotel Regina Louvre is what inspired this novel. Each book will feature a female protagonist unlearning everything she thought was love and discovering true love. Sometimes that includes learning to love your self or like Juliet, learning to fall back in love with your childhood dreams. I am the romance author who's struggled to write romance because lasting love feels unattainable. I am the writer learning to fall back in love with her craft. This story will be one of healing for me, and therefore, I will not rush it. I can't say when this novel will release. Perhaps later this year? Perhaps next fall? What I can say is, I am trying again. And the ideas I have for this book make me so excited. I hope this chapter gets you excited too. 🤍 Chapter 1 The Silence Between Chapters Sunlight filters in from the twelve-foot arched windows of my Brooklyn apartment. The warmth from the rays soothes my skin as I sink onto the sofa with a cup of chai tea in hand. Autumn in New York is my favorite. From farmer’s markets to the changing leaves to the anticipation of the Starbucks fall menu to writing in my office while the aroma of my cinnamon-scented candle fills my nostrils, and the brilliant voice of Ella Fitzgerald drifts in from the living room. This time of year has always been my favorite time to write. Perhaps that’s why I find myself thinking about it more and more. Or maybe it’s the pressure from my agent? My lips draw into a half smile as I remember the joy of discovering my next book idea, the angst as I’d struggle to sleep while new dialogue emerged in my head, and the amusement as Pasha would jump onto my desk at the most inopportune times. Speaking of… Pasha slinks in from the kitchen, stretches himself out on the faux-Persian rug, before joining me on the couch. I stroke his grey back while he dips his tongue into my tea. “Well, there goes that.” I sigh and place the cup on the coffee table right next to the laptop I can’t remember the last time I used for anything other than paying bills and binge-watching Food Network. Actually, no. I can remember. As Pasha makes haste toward the chai tea latte that’s now his, I remember the events of five years ago as if they were yesterday. I bite my lip as I remember sitting in front of my computer with tears streaming down my face, fingers aching at the thought of typing one more word. That book, the last one I wrote was never supposed to be the last. Well. In a way, it was. Mine to Love was supposed to be the last book I wrote before walking into my own happily-ever-after. It was supposed to be the end and the beginning—the end of my longest standing series, the end of a chapter in my life that had stretched far too long. After spending most of my childhood feeling overlooked and half my twenties dreaming of arms that would make up for every missed embrace—I thought I’d found him. I thought I found love. I thought all those silent and not-so-silent prayers had been answered. I thought God was about to out-do every fairytale ending I’d ever written. I thought it was finally my turn, my story. When I began writing my last book, I was the happiest I’d ever been. Callum and I had been together for three years. He’d been a part of some of my biggest chapters. After three years, I had every reason to believe it was time for our biggest chapter. My agent, Farrah, had approved the plot and I was a month into writing the work that was supposed to be my biggest happily-ever-after yet—a love inspired by the story I was finally living—when Mr. Would Be decided he would not be mine to love. Every day that followed was pure hell as I buried my own pain to create a love story I no longer believed in. When it was finally done, I guess so was I. But… I shake my head. My ex stole a lot from me, but did he really steal my ability to write romance? Did he really shatter my belief in a love that lasts? No. That was everything that happened after. Maybe, maybe it was even everything that happened before? I jump—as does Pasha—as Lydia slams the door behind her. She’s the kind of girl whose presence you feel before you see her. Or at least, hear. Pasha immediately hisses and scampers off to my office as the gorgeous Indian beauty waltzes in carrying bags of couture. Lydia was my stylist when I did the press tour for my first book. We’ve been friends, and roommates, ever since despite our polar opposite personalities. She’s the fire to my water. The voice to my silent monologue. And the one who made sure I didn’t drown in a pool of my own vomit when Callum left. “Hey, lovely,” she says as she tosses the garment bags that probably weigh more than her on the sofa. “Whatcha up to?” But before I can answer, the phone rings. Without looking, I know who it is. There’s a short list of people who’d call me. A spam salesman. Sometimes I answer for the company. The delivery boy when he can’t find the apartment. And… “Farrah,” I answer on the third ring. That’s it. No how are you? No what you do want? I know how she is, and I know what she wants. She’s been asking the same question for the last five years. When’s the next book? “Juliet,” she says. I can practically see the disappointment on her face despite the East River between us. “I’ve got news.” “Oh, well, that’s new.” Crap. Did I say that out-loud? She doesn’t laugh. She doesn’t scold. The only noise that fills the static between us is a heavy sigh. My stomach twists. Well, that is new. Normally, phone calls from Farrah make me feel numb and nothing more. Am I actually starting to care again? “Listen, JJ, I know I’m not your favorite phone call, and after today, you may not even take my calls.” My brows furrow and I put the phone on speaker so Lydia can listen in. “It’s just…I haven’t been hassling you for another book for no reason. I…I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this.” I glance at Lydia as my mouth goes dry. Suddenly, the last book I wrote isn’t the memory that comes to me when I think of writing. Instead, it’s the first. And as Farrah delivers the do-or-die news, it isn’t thirty-three-year-old, jaded, hopeless Juliet who receives it. It’s thirteen-year-old Juliet James who just wanted a place she belonged, and so she created that place with black ink. “As you know, our agency has grown tremendously since you signed with us thirteen years ago. I should probably thank you for that. Your debut was a hit, an instant New York Times bestseller. And other aspiring authors saw that, and thought we could make their dreams come true the way we did yours.” It was a dream come true, but like every love story I’ve ever known, even dreams eventually die. Yet, the rate at which my heart beats tells me this dream isn’t dead yet. At least, I hope it isn’t. “What are you trying to say, Farrah?” I ask, my voice raspy as tears wet my eyes. Lydia reaches out and grabs hold of my hand. “What I’m trying to say is, we don’t need you anymore.” The silence that follows reminds me of all the almosts following Callum. Three years and a proposal that never came didn’t make me stop believing in love. It was every failed attempt after. Lydia assured me I’d rebound, find better, hotter, buffer. Just because he wasn’t my person didn’t mean there wasn’t someone out there waiting for me. And so, I opened myself up to love time and time again only to find a pattern. A pattern of almosts. A pattern of closeness followed by different versions of, “I’m not ready.” Disappointment turned to numbness turned to silence. And in the midst of the silence came the unwanted advances that left a sting not so different than the unwanted advancement of my mother’s cancer and the silence that followed her death. No words. I have no words left when it comes to love or men or romance or writing or happiness in general, so you know what? “Well, yeah, I hate it had to come to this to, Farrah, but maybe it’s for the best. I mean I’m clearly not what you need. I’m a romance writer who doesn’t believe in romance—the genre, the fantasy, or the reality. So, yeah, you’re better off without me.” “Without you?” Farrah cuts off my self-deprecating speech. “Don’t you understand, Juliet? I’m not trying to do this without you. You were the first author I signed whose work I truly loved. The agency may not need you anymore. We have other authors bringing in plenty of revenue but, I still want you. The thing is, the higher-ups won’t let me keep you if you don’t give me a book to sell before the end of the year. It’s been five years, JJ. The royalties are drying up—for you and me both. And yet, it still costs the agency money to keep you on the roster.” Now, it’s my turn to sigh. Though, as I sink back into the sofa, shrinking away from the phone and Lydia, I’m not sure if it’s a sigh of relief or dread. “I…I don’t know if I can,” I whisper. As if sensing my dismay, Pasha reappears and hops onto my lap. He never liked Callum. None of the others even met him. I should’ve listened to him sooner and maybe I wouldn’t have wasted so much of my heart on the wrong man. If my childhood taught me anything worth knowing, it’s that time is precious. “Promise me, you’ll at least try.” Farrah’s voice drifts from the phone. “It’s October. You still have nearly three months to whip something out. And it doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be something I can work with, something I can show the partners that proves you haven’t given up on us, on love.” Tears drip down my cheeks as Pasha purrs against my chest. I have given up, haven’t I? Not just on writing and on romance, but on everything. I don’t go for walks like I used to. The new coffee blends don’t excite me in the same way. I live in pajamas and sweatpants, because who cares? I haven’t cared. Maybe it’s time I start? But this deadline… I stand up, grab the phone, and begin pacing. “Farrah, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for blowing you off all these years. You…you believed in me, in my work, when no one else did. And I’m so thankful for you, thankful enough that I want to try—if only for you—but we’re already halfway through October. I’m leaving for Paris in two days for my childhood best friend’s wedding. Then one of my sisters is coming to visit for Thanksgiving and then there’s Christmas. I’m not saying any of these things are more important than salvaging my dream of being a published author, but…I don’t know how to just switch my brain off from reality and re-enter the writer’s world. I don’t know if I have enough time.” Time to write another book, get my life back on track, open my heart before the clock strikes metaphorical midnight. “Well, maybe you don’t have to switch your brain off from reality? Maybe you can let reality inspire something new?” I scrunch my brows. “Reality is kind of what got me into this mess in the first place. Are you sure that’s the best strategy?” “Oh, I don’t know, what better place to fall back in love than in the City of Love—even if all you do is fall back in love with writing? How long will you be in Paris?” I shrug my shoulders. “Just three nights, and it’ll be jam-packed with jet lag and wedding festivities, which actually sucks because I’ve always wanted to go to Paris. I just…couldn’t afford to stay longer.” My how the mighty hath fallen. She’s not wrong that the royalties are drying up. I mean I’ve invested well, but I can’t live off my backlist forever. “Tell you what? Send me your hotel deets, and I’ll extend your stay for a full week. Take time to explore the city and all it has to offer. Get inspired. Come home. And do what you do best, because JJ, you are one of the best. You just have to remember who you are. You have to find that spark again. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find it beneath the sparkling Eiffel Tower.” I shake my head, but can’t ignore the smile spreading across my face. It’s so big my cheeks ache. I turn to Lydia and find her standing on the sofa, waiting for me to hang up so she can jump, squeal and we can celebrate. “Consider this my last investment in you until you give me another book. Will Paris be a fancy parting gift, or the start of your new chapter as a writer, as a woman?” I bite my lip. The thought of writing romance again makes my skin crawl, but the thought of a week in Paris kind of makes it worth it. The least I can do is exactly what I’d wished every almost would do—what I wish my mom would’ve done, despite her prognosis. I can try. Be sure to follow @emilymyersauthor on Instagram and join my reader group, Soulmates & Second Chances on Facebook. The Vibe? Bookish fall destination romance Soulful millionaire MC Sweet and cozy Emotional That's all...for now. (;

Chapter 4 Getting Acquainted Stepping inside the hotel is like stepping back in time—in more ways than one. I was hoping for a quick check-in and quiet escape to my room before heading out into the city. But upon entry, I’m met not only with brown-and-white marble floors, antique furniture that likely costs more than my life, and crystal chandeliers heavy-enough to serve in a reenactment of The Phantom Of the Opera, but the glowing bride herself. “Eeek! Oh my gosh, Juliet, Juliet! I wasn’t sure you were going to make it!” Samantha abandons the poshly dressed man at her side and runs toward me with glee. She collides into me with such force I nearly fall backwards into the revolving door. “Did I not RSVP?” I ask, legitimately concerned. It would be me to conveniently forget to confirm in case I wanted to change my mind at the last minute. She releases her vice grip—her blonde, Marilyn Monroe styled bob smacking me in the face as she does. “You said maybe like three months ago, and then I never heard anything else. I assumed you’d be too busy with all your writing and your fabulous life in NYC, but here you are! And just in time!” Her words have me gulping down bile along with the truth while I quietly question why I’m actually here. I felt bad knowing I was primarily coming for Paris. But the truth is, Samantha and I haven’t spoken in seven years? Maybe longer. Receiving her wedding invitation was one of the biggest surprises of my life, and that’s saying something. I guess I thought it was an attempt at reconnection, and I guess I wanted to meet that attempt with one of my own. Ish. I mean, it’s Paris. But a random social media glance would tell her I haven’t written anything in years and my life revolves around my cat, which she clearly didn’t bother to do. So, now I’m genuinely confused as to why she even invited me. “Um, just in time for what?” I ask. “The rehearsal dinner isn’t for another few hours.” I glance at my phone to check the time. It did take longer than expected to get from the airport to the hotel, but I still have enough time to freshen up and walk around for a bit before tonight—if she lets me. “Exactly. The rehearsal dinner is less than three hours from now and I have no one to give a speech.” “What?” I cough. “I know, right? And then there’s the vows.” “What about them?” “I haven’t written them. I need your help.” Her eyes widen as she grabs hold of both of my arms. Oh. My. God. Okay, ouch. I wince as her perfectly painted nails dig into my skin despite the thick leather of my mom’s jacket. Is she serious right now? Her frantic blue eyes tell me she’s never been more certain. “No.” I shake my head and do my best to withdraw from her grasp, but she won’t let me. “No. No, absolutely not. You do not want me to help you with that. Trust me.” Second attempt? Success. I play off my jerky motion by tossing my raven locks over my shoulder. Samantha puts her hands on the hips of her white pantsuit. “Nonsense. You literally write about love for a living. Who else is better to help me?” I purse my lips. “Like anyone else.” I scan the lobby for an escape from this conversation. I’ll take anyone and anything. A busboy who needs assistance. A package that needs to be delivered. A suitcase that needs to be transported. Speaking of, where’d mine go? Hell, I’d even take the dreaded reunion with my first heartbreak, Spencer, over this. Where is that good-for-nothing scumbag when you need him? Of course. Not here, despite being Samantha’s cousin. Finally, my eyes lock onto the same man I saw Samantha with before. He’s handsome with brown tousled hair that almost brushes his shoulders, the kind of stubble that reads as effortless with clean edges that likely required a straight razor—the opposite of unintentional—and an amber gaze that tells me he’s heard every word of our conversation and would need no catching up. “Him!” I point towards him before he can avoid being dragged into this. Samantha’s brows furrow as she turns in the direction of my gaze. My eyes widen in desperation as the mysterious man dressed in black trousers and a navy blue sweater makes his way to us. With Samantha’s back toward me, I mouth, “Help me.” He lowers his gaze to the marble floor as a slight half grin lifts his lip. “Oh, stop it, JJ,” Samantha says then, turning back to me. “Charles is already doing everything in his power to make sure this wedding goes off without hitch, but if I can’t write my vows then…” She slaps her hands against her thighs. “There won’t be a wedding.” I shrug my shoulders, a little too carelessly given the weight of this conversation. “Well, if you can’t put to words how you feel about your husband-to-be, then maybe you shouldn’t be marrying him.” Uh oh. Did I? I glance toward the brunette man to my right. His forehead wrinkles with shock. He shoves his hands into his pockets and does his best to avoid eye contact. Yep, I said it. Looks like the jet lag arrived early, just like this ambush. Charles—whoever he is—clears his throat. Now he’s the one searching for an escape. Samantha takes a step back as if my comment was as sharp as the nails she just dug into my forearms. “Sometimes words fail us,” she says. Gone is her chipper excitement. Replacing it is the kind of heaviness only I could bring. It’s then that she storms off toward the elevators. Though the sound of her clanking heels as she makes her way through the lobby lets her presence linger far longer than I’d like. “Frick,” I whisper as I pinch my eyes closed and rub my fingers across my forehead. “If there was ever a time for the real word...” The man known as Charles says then. His French accent is a warm reprieve from the chill clinging to my bones. I open my eyes to find him smiling at me. My brows furrow and my face contorts into something awful to express my utter confusion. Suddenly, Charles’ smile turns into a full-blow belly laugh. As he presses his hand against his stomach, a small laugh escapes my lips despite none of this being funny. Not in the slightest. Though it is nice to be around laughter. I can’t tell you the last time I was with a man who laughed at anything but me. Isn’t he doing the same thing? I bite my lip and lower my gaze to the floor. “I…I, um, I’m sorry. To the both of you. She said you’ve been working hard to make this weekend perfect, and I may have single-handedly destroyed it with just a few minutes and even fewer careless words.” Charles shakes his head and extends his hand. I offer him mine in return. “You just said the words I’ve been screaming on the inside for two days now.” “Oh my god! Really?” I ask. He nods. I look around even more confused. “Actually, why am I here?” Now I’m the one belly laughing. When I finish, Charles is still watching me with cheeks tinged slightly red and a warm gaze that radiates kindness. “Oh, I think we know why you’re here,” he says then. My breath hitches as the silence settles between us. I tilt my head to the side. “You’re here for Paris, just like everyone else.” “Ah, yes! Well, if Samantha has anything to say about it, I won’t have a moment to explore it. At least, not until this fiasco of a weekend is over. Again, sorry.” Charles waves away my apology. “No need. It’s my job to make sure the wedding—if it happens—is nothing short of a fairytale. The happily-ever-after part is on them.” “Mhmm, but can it really be a fairytale without the happily-ever-after?” I ask under my breath. “Sure it can. A beautiful moment in time is still—” “A moment,” I finish his sentence for him. “But, somehow I doubt my dear friend will accept that answer. So, I should get checked in and then check in with her.” I start in the direction of reception, but Charles continues with me. “Ah, that’s already been taken care of.” Charles waves over a man dressed in a suit from the reception desk. He comes quickly, carrying what looks like a keycard except it’s made of wood. “Merci, Girard,” Charles says, taking the key from him. “Of course, Monsieur Delacroix. Enjoy your stay, Madame James.” I raise my brow both surprised and impressed. “How—”? My eyes trail the man as he returns to his post. “I overheard Ms. Hollins greet you, and took the liberty of having you checked in. I’m happy to escort you to your room where your bag is waiting along with the typical welcome gifts—fruit, beverages, candy.” “Oh, candy? Now you’re speaking my language. But Samantha only said my first name? How did you—?” “This is a high-profile wedding, Ms. James. While we do offer excellent service to all our brides—and guests—it’s protocol to memorize the guest list for all events with government officials in attendance.” Oh, right. It’s been a while since I’ve been a part of this world. Samantha’s father is the U.S. Ambassador to France. He and my dad both got their start in congress before branching out in different directions. Samantha’s dad became an ambassador and mine joined the defense committee, eventually working his way to the Pentagon. Of course all of this made my high school years hell on a stick. At least that’s what Spencer Hollins proved himself to be. “Well, thank you. I mean, merci, Mr. Delacroix.” Once again, his lip draws into a half grin. “Please, Ms. James, aren’t we too acquainted for formalities? Call me Charles.” I smile. “Are we? Only if you call me Juliet.” I extend my hand to him again, as if we’re meeting for the first time. His fingers gently brush mine as he grabs hold. With his eyes locked on mine, he leans forward, lowering his lips to my knuckles. I gasp at his soft caress. “As you wish, Juliet,” he whispers, his breath almost as soft on my skin as his lips. I yank my hand back the second he lets go, though I can’t resist rubbing my thumb over the spot he kissed. “Well, now we’re acquainted,” I say, as if to break the tension. Charles blushes as he shoves his hands into his pockets. “But I um, should probably find my own way to my room.” It’s then that he tilts his head to the side. “Okay, that sounded bad. It’s not that I can’t keep it my pants or rather, keep my pants on. I’m actually celibate. Or abstinent, whichever is not by choice but also by choice. Anyway, you get the idea. It’s just…” I take a deep breath to stop my rambling. “You are busy. I’m sure there’s a million and one things left to do before the rehearsal dinner and I need to check on Samantha.” Before I can say anything else that makes me want to dig my own grave, I bolt off toward the elevators. “Juliet,” Charles calls after me. I turn quickly at the sound of his voice—almost too quickly. “You’re going to need this.” He holds my room key between his pointer and index fingers. “Right.” I slowly return as his studious gaze watches my every move. “You’ll find Ms. Hollins in room 213. I’ll send up room service since I’m sure you’re famished and will need your strength if you’re going to survive tonight.” “Truer words have never been spoken.” I take the key from him, noting the fact that he doesn’t just have names memorized but also room numbers. “Thank you,” I say softly. Charles nods. “Do take the time to explore the hotel—and Paris—before you leave. It is a beauty to behold, even if only for a short while. And, for what it’s worth, I have every confidence that you’ll help Ms. Hollins write something lovely for tomorrow. Despite what you may think, I think you’re pretty brilliant with words.” I smile and shake my head. “I’m brilliant at expressing displeasure.” “Well, then go brilliantly write the opposite of whatever is tormenting your heart.” At that, Charles takes his leave, and I’m left both dumbfounded and yet with a clarity I feel is five years in the making. Write the opposite of what I believe? Write the opposite of what I think? Write the opposite of what I’d do. Maybe that’s the key to surviving this trip? Or at least, the wedding portion. I’ll do the opposite of what I’d normally do. As that thought captures my mind, I watch Charles a little too closely as he disappears into a white and gold-trimmed room just off the lobby. No. No, that’s dangerous. Let’s just find Samantha and fix whatever is left of the friendship we used to have.

This week, my devotional has been all about strength. And today's scripture brought a new word to the conversation. "Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love Him." James 1:12 This verse tells us to endure temptation, not submit to it. And any time the word endurance is used, I can't help but think of my favorite verse, 2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." This Christian life is a race. It certainly feels like one, doesn't it? The thing about races is, they always have a finish line. I used to view marriage as the finish line--the end of one race and the beginning of another. In my mind, the race prior to marriage was a sprint. How much life can I live before my priorities change and I'm suddenly responsible for a family? How many countries can I visit? How many solo trips can I take? How many books can I write? And as I've gotten closer to God, I ask, how impactful of a life can I live before my impact is solely focused on the family I'm trying to nurture? In contrast, I viewed the race I'd begin as a wife as a marathon. No sprinting, just pacing. Roles of wife and mother would be first. Everything else would be de-prioritized. And it's not that there wouldn't be bumps in the road, but I wouldn't be chasing a finish line. I would've already arrived. When life feels like a never-ending sprint, exhaustion and frustration are certain. But when we realize life isn't separated into multiple races, but a singular journey, the perspective changes. To better understand the perspective swirling in my mind, I drew it: a winding path that represents one singular journey and all the stops along the way--including the sharp turns and apparent deadends. I listed not only my current priorities but where I see myself headed. Strengthening family relationships. Self-work. Writing and speaking. Traveling. Seeing the beauty in temporary encounters. Building friendships. Serving God. Expansion of purpose-driven work. Volunteering. What you can also see is: the race continues beyond what I can see there are segments where a lot is happening quickly, and others where it appears nothing is happening at all rest and reflection, just like the Sabbath, is part of the race getting it wrong and trying again are also part of the race Sometimes we fear making a wrong turn because we think it sets us back. We think our mistakes mean we have to begin again. When you've been sprinting toward the finish line only to be met with an apparent deadend, you may feel defeated. But what seems like a deadend or a wrong turn doesn't mean you have to backtrack or start again. With God, every step you take is a step forward. Even in the seasons when you feel like nothing is happening, when you're running a long-stretch that feels like it'll never end, keep going. Even when the figurative deer jumps into your path and you have to swerve to avoid a collision, keep going. Let ENDURANCE be your word of the day. This drawing, this perspective has helped me so much. Right now, I find myself in a season of rest and reflection but I'm still carrying the lessons, the passions of everything that came before. I'm still excited about where my writing will take me and how God is getting ready to use me as a writer. I'm excited about future trips, and beginning to plan my next one. I'm eager to return to serving and expand how I serve / volunteer. I'm in a season of looking back, looking forward, and standing still all at once. But soon enough, I'll put on my running shoes again. I guess the truth is, they never really come off. If you were to draw your own race, just the path that you can see now, what priorities or milestones would you include? What do you hope is around the corner? If you know me or have been a long-time reader, you probably know what I'd include. marriage motherhood more travels children's books more writing-related ministry work being a role model for younger generations continued service to the Lord Unlike before, I no longer view this as a separate race, but additions to MY race, additions to MY purpose. Additions not replacements or substitutions. The thing about additions, you have to have capacity to carry them. And so, now the question is no longer: When will this end? When will I finally get what I've been longing for? Rather, I consider how can I carry it all? I believe God is building a foundation in my life that can bear the weight of all He plans to add to my life, so that I can endure the race without being crushed and consumed by it. That is my prayer today. Lord, build a foundation in my heart that can withstand the weight of all you plan to give me, because Your bounty is full, plentiful, vibrant, and endlessly good. I wish to receive what You offer without being consumed by it. I wish to endure the race You have laid before me without being exhausted or discouraged by it. Guide me, Lord. Teach me that rest isn't bad. Teach me to not fear mistakes when You're the One leading. Remind me that slow seasons are part of the race, that each day is a step forward, and nothing is wasted in Your hands. Remind me to keep trying when I feel like I'm doing nothing but failing. Remind me that good things are right around the corner, but to enjoy the bounty of every season. In Jesus' name, Amen. Claim this prayer for yourself if you need to. 🤍 Until next time, Emily

Strength and mercy are my portion. No more longing for love. If this is all, it is enough. You are enough. You are with me in the morning. You are with me in the night. I see you in the sunrise, Even more in the moonlight. You are with me in the quiet, When the world has abandoned, When my thoughts overcome me. You are with me when I'm surrounded, Protecting me from mischievous misters, Providing a commentary only You could whisper. Like the Psalms sing, You are my portion, And all that you give. For so long, I resented your gifts, Unwrapping present after present that just wasn't it. Today, I cherish what is given without a thought for what isn't. You are my portion, Lord. And today, my portion is enough. You forgive my sins, and redeem my lost years. You answer prayers, some before others. You give good gifts, even if there's one I still pray for. But no more keeping score. No more wondering when. Your goodness and redemption aren't limited to a gold band and a man. No more trying to write the ending, Or find the invisible string. The breath in my lungs tells me You have a plan for me, And it's still unfolding. Sometimes I feel like a butterfly no one can touch. They admire me from afar, but never get too close. I'll flit and float, longing for a place to land. Every time I try, I always end up right back in the palm of Your hand. A former place of resentment, today I say, "It is good." Not just strength and mercy, Not just forgiveness and redemption of my story, Not just answered prayers that seem to touch every place but the one that aches, You are with me every time my heart breaks. You stitch me up. You heal the parts that still hurt. You remind me I'm worthy of love, when the world tells me I'm anything but. You say "I'm chosen." You say "I'm yours." That's a promise I no longer wish to ignore. You are the goodness in the morning, In the pain that hurts a little less each day. You are the goodness that orders my steps. I find your protection in every delay. You cancel flights and reroute my itinerary. You guide my pen and help me imagine new stories. You let me live dreams I held as a child. You let me travel the world. Isn't that wild? You deny men while giving me glimmers of a future that's yet to exist. Your angels protect me because You say, "Her time has not come yet." As a Father loves His daughter, So you love me. You stand stoic while I cry out in anguish. You listen to my every plea. Even when I feel unheard or ignored, You are not immune to my sorrow. You open Your arms, Wait for me to walk into Your embrace. You promise things will be better tomorrow. Your love, I wouldn't trade, Not for a million diamond rings. You are good even when life isn't. You are good even when my perspective is limited. That's the song I'll sing whether my heart is full or broken. Your goodness is not a single token that can be easily lost or stolen. Your goodness runs after those who the world has forsaken. I'll no longer judge You based on one delay or denial, rather the full account. You've been with me my whole life, and that's the story I'll shout about. A love poem from one author to another, Thank you, God, for giving me this special language of worship. If they ask me if You're worth it, I'll say, "There's no greater portion."

Today's post is inspired by today's sermon. I always love finding little nuggets in a larger sermon. Today's nugget of encouragement comes from a story about Michael Phelps. While our guest pastor used the famous Olympian to teach us about shame and honor, I took something else from the image of Phelps on the big screen. He was before he was recognized. He was the best swimmer in the world before the Olympic gold medal was presented to him as proof. He was before the reward. Phelps didn't just win gold medal after gold medal. The reward and recognition didn't just come on a random Tuesday. He prepared for them. He prepared for his race. He trained his body over and over again for the appointed time in which he would be put to test. It was in the training, the becoming, that he became. The test, the race, only served as the arena where he proved himself. The medal around his neck and his place on the podium only served as recognition for the preparation that had been done, the becoming that had already taken place. The medal served as Phelps' crown, but he was already king of the pool. Scripture provides us with the call to prepare, to have endurance, to run the race of life with steadfast faith. Following Jesus is a choice made daily. Obedience is a choice made daily. It is our training, our becoming. "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." Ephesians 6:13 Prepare for your test by putting on the full armor of God Stand firm in your faith when you are tested "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Have endurance Do not give up You will be rewarded "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7 There will come a day when the preparation and testing are finished and what remains will be glory. As Christians, we do not have to earn glory the same way Michael Phelps did. It is ours to behold because Jesus died for our sins, defeated the grave, and has given us the gift of everlasting life. As heirs of the kingdom of Heaven, as children of God, we have glory right here and now. We are victorious because God recognizes us as such. Still, there is preparation to step into the glory of the Lord. It's in the preparation that we truly become all that the Lord has called us to be. I think about all the things that we prepare for, all the titles we wish to claim, all the crowns we wish to wear. And unlike some, I won't tell you not to desire things for yourself. I won't tell you not to desire that promotion, that success, that relationship, that car, that compliment, that recognition for all the work, all the waiting, all the preparation. Instead, I will tell you to first submit your desires to the Lord and then to prepare to receive. And when the recognition comes, recognize Who the reward comes from. Prepare to be that impactful entrepreneur. Prepare to be that godly wife. Prepare and you shall be. Prepare because you are. Perhaps this post is a little more feel-good encouragement than biblical wisdom, but there are scriptures to back up these sweet words. "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9 This verse does not say that the Lord denies or contradicts our plan. He simply directs us along the path until we reach our destination. This may look like encountering obstacles we wouldn't have chosen for ourselves. Hello, preparation. Hello, training. This may look like our desire evolving into something greater and more impactful than we ever could've imagined. Hello, glory. The Bible never tells us not to plan or prepare. It simply reminds us to submit ourselves to God in all that we do, and He will intervene in our plan to prepare us for and lead us there in righteousness. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 This scripture can be both encouraging and discouraging. I questioned what delighting myself in the Lord really meant. I felt like if I wasn't happy and joyful all the time, if I wasn't peacefully surrendered then I wasn't delighting myself and therefore I wouldn't be given the desires of my heart. Feeling like I had to be perfect--worship perfectly, wait perfectly, remain surrendered perfectly, be obedient without struggle--made me feel the opposite of delightful. But a mature Christian mentor said delight does not mean without struggle. Delight means remaining obedient, remaining surrendered to Him despite the struggle. Delight is an active devotion to the Lord. It is not perfection. It is not the death of humanness. Even Jesus in His manhood struggled with the task set before Him, asked God to take the challenge of the crucifixion away from Him, felt forsaken by God and cried out to Him as He felt abandoned. And yet, Jesus Christ was devoted to His Heavenly Father. Devote yourself to the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. As we devote ourselves to God, He guides our preparation to not only step into His glory but to step into the roles and relationships we're praying for, the roles and relationships that are already written for us, the roles and relationships that are already ours. He who finds... She who is... They who believe receive They who prepare become